Front Porch

The plants at the Front Porch are blooming this Christmas.

Chiropractic

Before 8 Dec 2005, I have never heard of the term "Chiropractic". No apology for the ignorance for I am not in the medical line.

This term was introduced to me by my niece, Ah Min when I was in KL recently. She told me to look for a chiropractic to fix my spinal pain problem. In fact, she made numerous calls to try to fix an appointment with a chiropractic for me. Somehow, it didn't work out.

By the time I was back to KK, we discovered in the local newspaper ad of the service of an orthopedic cum chiropractic. At last, we finally found a chiropractic in Sabah!

My first encounter with a chiro was his special bed that I was asked to lie on. A lot of pressings over my neck and back areas. But his twisting of my neck was most scary. I could hear the clicking sound of my neck bones when he twisted my neck. Somehow, the twisting of the neck seemed to do some tricks. Whether psychological or not, the pain in my back and hand did subside after this encounter with the chiro.

Still, the chiro told me that a more permanent solution to this spinal problem is to do an operation at the affected spinal chord. To him, this is a fairly simple "procedure". From his own mouth, he has been successful in all the procedures he has done so far. I am now considering this procedure if the spinal problem persists.

At the moment, spinal pain is subsiding. Praise the Lord.

Still, I must say to Ah Min: Thanks for bringing me into the world of chiropractic!"

Passing of a Friend - Yogeswaran

When I was scanning my digital photo album, I came across this old university photo which was taken way back in 1973. It reminded me of the passing of a uni friend, a senior and a Christian brother in the 5th College Christian Fellowship.

On 7 Dec 2005, I received an sms from another ex uni-mate from Sarawak (the chap sitting at my left in the photo), it reads "Sad news, Yoges passed away last night". He died of a blood disorder. He was scheduled to undergo some kind of bone marrow transplant in February 2006, but God chose to take him earlier.

Being an Indian, his uniqueness was that he had a pair of very neat white teeth over a dark skin background and curly long hair. He was a joker and a caring person. In the photo, I could still remember him sitting on the floor leaning on my feet. There was also a joke about him - When you have a power failure at night, just take him along and he would light up the area with his teeth!

Though he lived a fairly short life, about 56 I think, he did have a great impact on people he came into contact with.

After his funeral on 9 Dec, I received this sms, "The funeral just ended. Beautiful time of celebrating Yoges' life and his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. About 200 people attended".

Yoges, you did make a difference!

Christmas 2005

We had a small open house after the Christmas Day Service. Our guests include Thomas Chin's family with Joan Chin who is back for holidays from Australia. The Chan Kok Woh's family brought along Winnie's Aunti from Singapore + husband, an ex-diplomat posted to Australia. Winnie also brought along her sister + husband (back from Australia for holidays) who lectures in Southern Cross University. Of course, Janice and mom also turned up.

Just when we were about to wrap up the open house, two car-loads of youths turned up. Fortunately, we had a bit of food left. They literally cleared up whatever food that was left.

Our Christmas Tree

Our Christmas tree at the cosy corner of the house.

Another Mini Reunion of Ex-Uni-mates

Wai Suet, Pastor Lam Kee Hing, Ling King Ngeo and us on 17 December 2005

God's Gift to You and Me

This is the picture of the scene of Nativity used in the illusion for the Praise Kids Christmas Party 2005.

Christmas is Coming

Wow, it's been a long time since I last blogged.

This December has been unusually busy. With so many outstation duties and deadlines to meet, many people would jump to congratulate our good business fortune. Thank God for that. But, my spinal pain is driving me nut. At time, I wish there is some kind of instruments that I can just insert into my back, shoulder and right hand and just cut it off so that the pain could be removed once and for all.

Thank God, pain has subsided a lot today. Reasons: with prayers from loved ones plus expensive health  supplement introduced by friend which I have started consuming and physio by the wife. All these add to slow but sure recovery.

The other day on 15 Dec, I was stuck at KLIA for 6.5 hours (from 3.30pm to 10pm) trying to catch an earlier flight back . The dread of waiting was compounded with the searing pain, truly unbearable at times. Then I got a call from Serene, that chatting came at the right moment and truly helped to relieve the pain. Thanks again, Serene.

Tomorrow, Praise Kids Church will be celebrating Christmas. I will have to do an illusion as one of the items. I have not done an illusion this whole year. Another chance to polish. At the moment, I am still working on it. By God's grace, I hope that the illustration will have an impact.

By the way, just let you know that Paul has since 5 Dec been undergoing industrial training in our firm 's Condominium Project site just by Jalan Damai very near to our office. He is enjoying it I think, getting a feel of the Nitti gritty of civil and structural engineering.

The Wise Sage

While I was driving to work this afternoon, I heard a good illustration from the radio talk show by a lady in the radio station.

There was this couple who has been arguing and quarrelling until they decided to seek advice from one Chinese Sage. The husband went first and told his side of the story to the Sage and emphasizing that he was right and the wife was wrong all along. After listening, the Sage finally said, "You are right!".

The next day, it was the wife's turn. She told her side of the story and of course telling the Sage that she was right and the husband was wrong. At the end, the Sage said, "You are right!".

When she went back and discussed the outcome of their consultation, they were surprised to discover that the Sage told each the same answer : "You are right!".

They decided to confront the Sage and said, "How can it be possible that each one of us is right at the same time. There must be one of us who is in the wrong. The Sage said, "You are right!".

I think that this is a good story for premarital counselling.

PM lost his Beloved Wife

Our PM's wife Endon passed away unexpectedly on 20 Oct 2005. Most Malaysians thought that she was on her way to recovery after her recent treatment in USA. Somehow, her relapse of breast cancer was worse than most of us thought.

The perception of most Malaysians towards Badawi and Endon was that they were very loving couple. It was said that whenever the PM went to work every morning, he would give the wife a peck on the cheek or yell to the wife if she was upstairs telling her that he was leaving for work. Truly a loving couple! A good leadership by example as far as demonstration of a loving couple was concerned.

After she was buried, he went to her grave everyday non-stop for three days. I was a bit worried that he would be too distraught or heart-broken to continue ruling the nation. I remember one Israelite PM by the name of Menachem Begin who totally lost the will to rule and to live after the wife died. In fact, he died not long after the wife passed away. Hopefully, Abdullah could survive this crisis and persevere on.

Talking about cancer, I remember this friend of mine who is in his early 40's who told me around late July this year of his persistent discomfort in his stomach. At that time, he also told me of the lady who had her stomach removed because of cancer. She didn't survived long and passed away in August. I blogged about her story in my August 6 blog. Then two week ago, I heard from my sister that this friend of mine had just got his colon removed because of colon cancer. That was shocking news. It did come to him as a great shock. The wife is now expecting their 2nd child. They have 2 more kids with the older one only 4.

This cancer thing has caused untold sorrow and distress to many many families. In this case, I offer my prayer that God would be merciful to him and his family and that he would prevail over this bereavement.

David & Goliath

This afternoon, my cousin from Kota Belud came to my office to deliver a giant ostrich egg to me. He had earlier known that I have an interest to acquire an ostrich egg. He took the trouble to go to the Kota Belud Ostrich Farm to get this egg for me. What a nice cousin!

Just look at the sheer size! I was told that an ostrich egg is equivalent to 30 chicken eggs! A case of Goliath v David.

Now, we are left with the dilemma of what to do with this giant egg. Imagine you crack one is like cracking 30 chicken eggs. Probably, we will have an ostrich egg bonanza. A cake made with ostrich egg; scrambled ostrich egg; omelette ostrich egg: custard ostrich egg..... and the list is still being added on.

In fact, I was thinking of waiting for Paul to come back and join us to feast this ostrich egg bonaza. My cousin however said that the egg may not be able to wait that long. Too bad Paul!

The other thing I have to worry now is how to get the content out and yet keep the giant shell intact. My cousin told me to chisel a little hole at one end. That might not be easy for a first timer. Well, we will keep you informed after the feast.

Romantic Quotable Quotes

 

I am always fascinated by certain people who could play around with words and come up with inspiring phrases or quotes.

"You make me want to be a better man!" from this weirdo Jack... remember..

The other night in the Korean soap opera, I heard another pretty good one. Immediately after the wedding scene between this lovely couple, the lovely wife said to the husband, "Will you still love me just as much when I am an old granny with a head full of white hair". This is what he said, " My love for you now is at its minimum, but by the time you are an grand old granny, it will be at its maximum". Not a bad quote as far as romantic quotes are concerned. Don't you think?

These three nights, my wife has been away in Nexus attending seminar. Out from her schedule, she came back and took the trouble to prepare me special dishes for my dinner. Wow... I was really lost for words.... But I did say to her, "You make me want to be a better husband!". That's my quotable quote....from the bottom of my heart.

Shanghai Experience

I was in Shanghai for three days. But in actual fact, I only spent about 5 hours or so visiting the usual tourist spots all at the night time - Nanjing Pedestrian Walk and Shanghai Beach.

Though the trip was short, I did enjoy the Shanghai food my friends in Shanghai took me to savour in a number of places - Siau Loong Pau, Shanghai dumpling noodle…..I also had a chance to taste the so-called Tian Sia Ti Ik Pau (World No 1 Bund) during the farewell lunch at the 2nd largest restaurant in Shanghai. My friend saw me enjoying it so much that he specially ordered one dozen for me to take back to Sabah. So my wife would have a chance to taste real Shanghai food after all. With regards to the restaurant, it is really huge as far as Sabah is concerned - 4,000 capacity plus another 120 VIP rooms.

While walking with my friend along the Nanjing Pedestrian Walk, I felt a tap at my shoulder from the back. I turned and saw two girls probably age 17-18. They claimed they have not eaten for quite some time and needed money. The fact is they are not beggars but hookers! Further down the walk, another school boy looking lad bumped my friend and asked, “Do you want Massage?”. In my mind, he could be the pimp trying to market his classmates or some girls. Well, this is one side of Shanghai!

I also deliberately chose to go back to the Shanghai Pudong Airport by taking the Shanghai Maglev Train with a traveling speed of 400 Km/hr. For just RMB40, it was worth every cent of it.

Weren't We Young Then

Back then in 1973. Weren't we young then! Recognize any of us?

Cheers to 32 Years Friendship

Cheers to 32 years of friendship.

32 Years Friendship

They are some of our uni-mates whom we got to know when I first entered MU in 1973. The strong bond of friendship developed because of the 5th College Christian Fellowship which we all joined back then. This is how we look some 32 years later.

Spaghetti for Dinner

Spaghetti for dinner. Wished you could join us. Doesn't it look yummy !

Little Chair Big Elephant

Funny pic I'll use for my Praise Kids object lesson.

A Person of Immense Faith

Thursday, 4 August, I attended the funeral service of a church friend whom I knew since the late 60’s during the youth days. She died of stomach cancer. At the time of her death, she had undergone two operations to have her stomach totally removed.

In the eulogy delivered by her sister, she was quoted to have said at her final moment of her life, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award me on that day”. She was also quoted to have said, “Whatever path the Lord wants me to take, I would take it faithfully”. She also planned her funeral before she died.

This is truly a person of immense faith.

Fulfilling Unfulfilled Dream

Last Sunday, we said farewell to Oliver Chew. He would be leaving the next day to KL for a 5-year course in Medicine in IMU. His determination to go through another 5 years of study in a university is unbelievable. He had earlier completed a 4-year course in UMS for a BSc in Chemistry and then worked for more than a year. By the time he finished medical school, he will be at least thirty years old.

His reason for doing this is that he has always wanted to be a doctor. He is doing it to fulfil an unfulfilled dream!

Report About Melbourne from Sabah Connection

Last night in Tong Hing Supermart, I saw a girl whom I was very sure I met somewhere before. I just couldn't recall. Finally, she came over and said, "Uncle, Auntie, remember me, Loy". In that instance, I remember.

She told us she has a wonderful time in Melbourne spending one month there. She met up with Sam, Paul and Julius. She has great admiration for Melbourne. According to her, that's the best place she has ever been. Her comment: It's a place where anything you want is available and things are fresh.

We'll be there one day of course not forgetting Newcastle. That's also a must for us to go. Sydney as well. Now, we'll have better reason to go. Serene and MH will be there soon.

The Girls are Missing Sam

This afternoon, I went to Innotech to look up for Ar. Shim to sign some Forms for our house OC. It has been quite awhile since we last met. His very first statement was "Hey, how is Sam, when is he coming back? All the girls in the office are missing him, the handsome lad!".

Wow, that cool guy is hot even for such a short stint !

Guggenhein

The other night, National Geographic showed this unique architecture in the Mega structure series. The Guggenhein by Frank Gehry. The aesthetic is truly one of the kind. The structural framing is also the first in the world if I am not wrong. No one single major supporting structural member is the same. Each is different to match the contour and shape. According to the commentator, this building could not have been built 20 years ago due to the lack of powerful computer to do the analysis, design and drafting.

Businessman

We have a client that reminds me of what is a businessman. Normally, businessmen create a business out of demand. This chap I talk to creates business out of a problem.

If you see a stretch of a river bank being eroded, you will naturally think that's a government's job to fix it. Not this man. He saw the problem, he decided to approach the right kind of people to convert his idea in the form of technical and financial proposals. With the proposals, he approached the right people to present it and ultimately convinced the paymaster (the government in this case) to accept it. Then he has a contract. That's how he makes his money. Of course, we are also fortunate to get business acting as his consultant along the way. Our job is to help him to put his idea into legible proposal.

But then, this kind of business needs a lot of patience. It might take a long time from the time he gets the idea until he finally is awarded the contract - three years or even longer!

The thing is, he knows how to turn a problem into a business venture. Of course, it still boils down to demand. In this case, there was a need to get the problem fixed before irreparable damage is caused to the river bank.

Cutting Chilli

The other Sunday morning. we drove north to Kota Belud again. My wife finally got her nyiru. We bought more than 2 Kg of crabs (12 nos in all), tapioca and 1/2 kg of green chilli.

I spent the afternoon preparing the crabs and cutting up the green chili for the pickled chili. I cut the chilli without any protective glove and just bare hands. At that time, hardly any hot feeling. But by the time I finished, the hot sensation started to kick in and persisted for the rest of the day. Wow..........not a nice feeling. A good lesson to learn. Never cut a lot of chili without some kind of protection to your bare hands!

Mini Reunion Breakfast

Breakfast at the Side Porch just before MH and Serene left to catch the flight at 7.50am on 1 July 2005

Submersible Bridge

Submersible bridge across upstream of Padas River. 36 nos. 1.4m dia pipe culvert linked together. Another civil engineering feat!

Mini Reunion Dinner

Mini reunion meal with MH and Serene. MH couldn't be in because he was the cameraman !

STS Lecturers Residential Apartment

STS Lecturers Residential Apartment. The Tsen family used to stay here.

Babagon Dam

Paul, this is Babagon Dam. You might have to design a dam one day!

STS Student Hostel, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia

Sam, what do you think of the architecture ?

Instant Cafe

Last Wednesday night, my wife and I went to the Instant Cafe show cum dinner at STAR. Last year, Paul went with us when they last performed also at STAR.

There were fewer casts this year and the show was not that funny. Just to share a short political jokes said that night for laughs:

Patrick Teoh: YB, what is your stand on corruption?

YB: I am 100% against receiving of bribe.

PT: There were rumours that you did receive them!

YB: I didn't take bribe, I only received gifts.

PT: It was said that you sometimes asked for them!

YB: No. I did not ask for them. I merely suggest.

PT: You are well known as a strong BN supporter.

YB: Yes. As a matter of fact. I am a strong supporter of the PM of the day. In fact, I would support whoever is the PM of the day, even if it is Anwar Ibrahim.

Nice Song

"Let Me Fall (From Cirque De Soleil)"

JOSH GROBAN LYRICS

Let me fall

Let me climb

There's a moment when fear

And dreams must collide

Someone I am

Is waiting for courage

The one I want

The one I will become

Will catch me So let me fall

If I must fall

I won't heed your warnings

I won't hear them

Let me fall

If I fall

Though the phoenix may

Or may not rise

I will dance so freely

Holding on to no one

You can hold me only

If you too will fall

Away from all these

Useless fears and chains

Someone I am

Is waiting for my courage

The one I want

The one I will become

Will catch me So let me fall

If I must fall

I won't heed your warnings

I won't hear Let me fall

If I fall There's no reason

To miss this one chance

This perfect moment

Just let me fall

END

A nice song I like. But then, if you really fall, make sure you can climb up again !

Lesson from Hero

This afternoon, I found the time to watch the movie “Hero” for the second time – courtesy of Paul. Watching the movies under the home setting, there is more time to listen closely to some of the conversations. The high point of the movie is when Qinshihuang said to the assassin at the crucial moment, “Of all the people that I know, my officials, my generals… it turns out that it is my assassin, my arch-enemy who understands me most”. What he meant is that of all the alleged tyrannical deeds, expansionist policy, elimination of opponents, they were done with the grand plan of unifying the fractious country of China into one large single country. It is the big picture that overrides the small issues. This is the irony of the whole movie. The people who were supposed to understand him most failed to understand while the people he least expected to understand turned out to be the one who truly understood after all.

This is also true of the story of Jesus' final moment on earth when he was praying with his three closest disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane. Instead of staying awake to provide the support and understanding at the time of Jesus’s trying moment, they fell asleep.

The previous Saturday evening, we had the premarital counselling session discussing about the topic of "communication". The gist of the session is to impress upon the couples the importance of genuine communication and understanding of each other. The main objective is to encourage the couple to learn to connect. I was reminded that during unpleasant moments, instead of confronting your spouse antagonistically and/or negatively, try to approach the issue more soberly and positively. Rather than saying “Hey, didn’t we agree to meet at this place at 3.00pm and how come you so easily forget!” We were told to say statement likes this, “I wish you could give me a call first to let me know that you may be slightly late!”. Good lesson to remember.

Sharing of Thought in Mothers' Day

Proverb 31: 10-31, a very familiar passage to all of us which talks about a wife and mother who has multiple roles to fulfill. The difference between many of today's moms and Proverb 31’s mother is that she does her roles in total perfection. Many of us find this woman to be too idealistic to be a practical example.

She is a wife (v10), home maker (v27), real estate investor (v16), vineyard owner (v16), trader (v18), philanthropist (v20), garment trader (v24) and mother.

I went through this text over and over again and tried to understand her success story. I finally found the key verse which we often overlook.

2nd half of V25 in NIV Bible says “She can laugh at the days to come”

RSV reads “She laughs at the time to come”.

The Good News Bible says “She is not afraid of the future”.

I like the Chinese translation “She would laugh with joy when she thinks of the future”. I think this Proverb 31’s Mother has the wisdom to discover this secret.

1. There is no need or no benefit to dwell too much over the past. Past is past. Its over. There is nothing you can do to change it.

2. But tomorrow presents an opportunity. There is opportunity to start afresh. There is opportunity not to repeat what’s considered wrong or unacceptable. There is opportunity to repair broken relationship. I think this is the key factor why Proverb 31’s mother laughs at the days to come.

3. Laughing in anticipation of the future is also a demonstration of faith in the providence of God. It’s like what the Psalmist says in Psalm 23, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me, all the days of my life”. This is truly a demonstration of faith in the providence of God for all the days to come even in the presence of trials and tribulation.

4. I think she laughs because she has full confidence that she could find rest in God. With all the stresses, she learns to cast all her worries onto God. We have to learn to stop daily from the hectic schedule to spend a few moments with the Lord.

I like the words of wisdom from the Serenity Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. He said, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”.

The courage to change is something we can all do in the days to come. That’s why we can and should smile in anticipation of tomorrow.

For those of us who are hindered to move forward because of the past. We should be reminded not to be stressed over things of the past because they no longer can be changed but rather to have courage to face tomorrow because tomorrow presents unlimited opportunity of change for improvement and for the better.

Time is in Short Supply

I cannot imagine that so much has gone by since the last time I wrote my blog on 25 April. I had been to Singapore from 29 April to 1 May to see Serene and Meng How. It was both fun and an experience to be in the Settler's Cafe. The food was good. Imagine, Meng How is one of the chefs of the cafe. He said  that cooking those dishes is a breeze after going through them a few times.

I always enjoyed going to Singapore. It's a very efficient society. Almost a cashless society. May be because of the fact that I am an engineer and always appreciate how engineering innovation makes lives so much more convenient and easier. The city is generally much cleaner (hardly any noticeable littering) and the society seems much more civilized (as least on the surface).

A few questions did cross my mind when I stayed in Singapore. Can people's attitude be changed merely by courtesy campaign and through education? Is it more effective and faster to change people's attitude by enforcing the rule of laws. The serious enforcement of the rule of laws seems to work well in Singapore. As least that's how I see it.

I also had the chance from 2 May to 3 May to meet up with the my wife's family members in KL. Hee Chuan's (2nd brother) family has now moved into a new double storey bungalow. Thaw Thaw is now driving with her P licence. Wow, how time flies!

When Lyanna first met my wife, she pulled her aside and told her "Aunti, I have finally found a man just like Uncle Alfred who will love me for the next twenty years!". This was told by my wife to me. I was thinking, "Why 20 years! Isn't is supposed to be "Till death do us part". This is understandable probably because she is not a Christian yet.

We stayed in Lyanna's place and did have a good time with her. She was ever ready to open her home for us to stay when we go there in future. Truly, I pray from my heart that if she ever decides to marry this man, he would turn out to be a good and loving husband.

Split Second Decision

My barber is a very chatty person. Last Saturday, while cutting my hair, he was commenting about the news in the local paper about five ladies being killed instantly along Lahad Datu - Semporna Highway while trying to overtake a trailer. Apparently after driving her (the driver) car from the left lane to overtake the trailer and probably midway in the overtaking, a truck from the opposite side approached head-on to her pickup. From the news, she then tried to accelerate but couldn't make it. According to the news, in that split second, the driver decided to move to the the other side of the road shoulder to avoid the collision. Somehow, it was too late, her pickup rammed into the truck. All five ladies died instantly.

Today, another piece of news. One kidnapper of a 10-year kid discovered he had been surrounded by the police. To avoid capture, his split second decision was to jump down from the 14th floor. The obvious consequence - Death.

In life, we come across many instances when we have to make split second decisions. Let pray that we have the split second wisdom to make the right split second decision.

Treat People with Dignity

Last Friday, I went to Labuan to conduct the 1st Site Meeting for the Oxygen Generation Plant Project in the HBI Plant which we are doing for a Client. This Client also owns SFI, the Sabah Forest Industries.

We have done a number of small projects for SFI. But for the HBI, this is the 1st project. In my mind, I always assumed that the reason that we were selected to bid for the Oxygen Plant was probably due to some kind fellows in SFI who had introduced us to them.

Finally, the chap in HBI told me how we were introduced. Not by SFI but through two persons who had worked in our firm. One a university student who had a short training in our firm. The other is an Engineer who had worked in our office for a number of years. Both had good words for us and recommended strongly to the HBI staff who had a hand in the selection of consultants.

Well, it should always be a life policy not to say harsh words to any of your staff even though they are truly useless or lousy. Be reminded to have no ill feeling when they leave your company.

I remember I used to have an engineer whom the contractor told me that he demanded favour in the form of money. I didn't confront him or fire him but decided to improve the procedure to minimise the chance of graft. Believe it or not, he is now with a government department who is our client of one of our projects. Well, if I had fired him or spoken harshly against him, you can imagine the disaster we would be facing now.

Another old case. One of my draftsgirls told me she had been harassed by another male colleague. I could have fired him but that could be disastrous because there is a possibility of us being sued for wrongful termination. So, I called him and in a very rational and gentle tone told him. "You have been accused of sexual harassment and if you are reported to the Labour Department, your future will be ruined. The best is for you to resign voluntarily so that this issue will not be pursued by her". In the end, he resigned. He still has his dignity and his reputation is not blemished. Whenever we meet, we are still friends.

No Malice: Quality of a Child

This morning in my Year 5 Peace Praise Kids Class, we were discussing about temptation and external influences.

In my class, I have these 2 boys who are the hyperactive type and who practically never stop talking. One of them is called Joshua. When talking about the subject of external factors that would influence their lives, these are some of their answers: TV, TV games, computer games. Then I said, "How about people? Don't people influence you?". To kill 2 birds with one stone, I added, "Don't you think that Joshua is a bad influence?". They all turned to him and laughed. Then, he became quiet for awhile and said, "Teacher, are you insulting me?". I had a good laugh.

The good thing about kids which I always enjoy dealing with is that they have no malice. Yes, no malice. They speak and respond exactly the way they feel. I am very sure this Joshua would have no ill feeling against me.

Unlike adults, on the surface, they smile as if nothing has happened. But deep down, they harbour grudges and wait for the day to level with you.

Well, I think that's why Jesus said that for you to enter heaven, you have to be like a child.

The Passing of a Pope

The news finally came this Sunday morning, Pope John Paul II has passed away at 9.37pm Saturday night local time at his Vatican apartment. This is indeed a passing of a giant of 1.1 million  Catholics.

Even though I am not a catholic, I still consider Pope John Paul II had lived a life of great significance and that his life had undoubtedly impacted a lot of people. I only discovered in the latest news that he was made a Pope in October 1978, the same month and year I was married some 26 years ago.

CNN captioned him as an Extraordinary Pope. Imagine, he had traveled to 100 over countries throughout his papacy. That is indeed an achievement! He traveled to be with his faithful; to lend support to the poor and downtrodden; to extend his hand of reconciliation; to express regret and to ask for forgiveness for the sins committed by the Catholics forefathers in the past.....

One of the things I found uncomfortable previously was the great number of people he canonized. In fact, it was said that he canonized more people than all the previous popes combined. I used to think, "Is it scriptural for a mortal man to declare another person saint? Isn't that for God to decide?". Today at CNN, it was clarified by someone who knew Pope John Paul II quite well that his purpose of canonizing so many people was to identify models for people to emulate. Men and women who had suffered during trying times would be good examples for people to look up to and emulate.

For that, credit should be given to him. I do agree that there is indeed a great need for people of exemplary characters to be identified in this greatly compromised world. Don't you agree that this kind of people is truly a rare specie nowadays!

Christian Tradition

As a family tradition all these years, we went to the cemetery yesterday late afternoon to clean up two graveyards at BCCM Likas Cemetery - my eldest brother and my paternal grandfather. Believe it or not, except those years spent in the U from 1974 to 1977, I have been going to the cemetery non-stop for the last 30 years. In the past, my father has been faithfully leading his children to the cemetery to clean up the graveyards. These last 3 years, he no longer could do this because of his deteriorating health.

This year, however, only my 2 younger brothers, sister and Aunti Kui Moi turned up. Last year, we had Caleb, Calvin and Cathy joining in. Come to think of it: Can this tradition be continued and sustained? May be difficult. To be honest, I think our children who have never seen my grandpa will find it quite meaningless to go, to clean up the graves and spend a moment of reflection at the grave site.

But, I strongly believe that our family must know their root. A bit of history. My grandpa came from China from a county called Huiyang in the Kwangtong province. From what I was told, he came when he was a very young man. He died on 22 August 1968 probably at the age of 70 (Not very sure of his exact age). His graveyard was first erected in May 1971.

After the cleaning up yesterday, Rev. Lee and I agreed to get Paul Lo to reconstruct the graveyard which by now is in fairly bad condition. Hopefully, the new graveyard will be a reality by Easter next year.

Chinese believe strongly in the tradition of going to clean up the ancestral tombstones during the Chingming Festival. I think Christians should do likewise. Going to the ancestral tombstone once a year at least reminds you of your root.

Lazy Husband

I find this article on research done on men in UK rather interesting :

Men are getting lazier.They sleep – 8.5 hr, watch TV or DVD – 3 hr, involved in sport or meaningful exercise – 18 min. Hardly has any time on housework and parenting.

Boy Husband Type
Exhibits childlike laziness
Does not know how to take care of himself
Expects his wife to do everything for him
May have overindulged as a child
Thinks he is above household chores.

Perfectionist Husband Type
Has high standards for how his wife and children should behave
Has old fashioned view of a wife’s role in home
Expects her to do everything which may lead her to suffer from depression and anxiety

Angry Husband Type
Bullies his wife into doing things
Uses intimidation as a way of getting out of doing housework and parenting duties
Wife gives in to avoid conflicts because she does not want the children to witness an argument

Worried Husband Type
Doesn’t do things around the house because he feels inadequate
Lacks the sense of entitlement and is therefore completely hand-pecked
Has low self esteem
Anxious that if he tries to help out he will do something wrong

Tips in making your husband do more
1st: Be willing to compromise and negotiate. Try to lower your standards a little bit. Most men will say "If you want it done that way. You do it then".

2nd: Approach with affection. They will do more house-work and child rearing if they feel liked and loved. Don’t back him into corner.

3rd: Be assertive.
Don’t let men take advantage of you at home
Set clear guidelines
Play hard ball if all things fail. You are on strike.

Get to the Root

The landscape work arranged by my wife turns out to be really nice. Cost wise, still unknown! Hopefully, not a bomb! By the year end, the compound should look even better.

This morning, I spent a sometime in the compound pulling off the "Thunder Grass" - a direct translation from the Chinese "Lui Kung Chaw". Not an easy job, a few blisters in my palm!

This kind of grass is a real nuisance. It cannot be killed by weed killer. The only way is to pull it out all together with the roots. Any bit of roots left behind will start regrowing all over again. A friend of mine who also stays in Taman Khidmat gave up trying to pull them up. They simply grow faster than he could get rid of them.

This grass also reminds me of the training seminar on Theophostic Ministry conducted by our Church for the Jabed Team which I attended this Tuesday evening. This is another type of ministry similar to the 7 Steps to Freedom. We have yet to fully understand it. Its main aim is to lead the person to the source of the hurt and remove the lies in his life.

One thing for sure, like the thunder grass; sometimes, the only way to solve a problem is to go back to the root of it.

Mind Your Language

I read this comment about a tourist who found this signboard when he/she visited the Forbidden City in China. From what I can understand from the Chinese words, it means something like this: "This old building is temporarily closed for renovation. Any inconvenience caused is very much regretted". However, the actual English translation in the signboard reads like this:

"The ancient building is renovating. Excuse me for bringing trouble to you".

Real funny translation!

Mini Reunion

These 2 days, I have been really busy. Yesterday, I had to skip my usual Monday after-work badminton game because by the time I finished my work, it was nearly 6.30pm.

In the morning, I received a call from a friend in DID telling me that an old friend would like to talk to me. Then he passed the phone to him. The guy introduced himself as Liam We Lin. I straight away remembered that he was one of the uni-mates in our years of civil engineering study way back in MU. He is now a consultant specializing in irrigation, hydrology and hydraulic. In fact, he accidentally discovered me when this DID engineer told him that "this Alfred Lee did this Putatn Flood Mitigation Study for DID". Guess what, he told this DID engineer, "I know this Alfred Lee Teck Kiong, he came from Sabah". Finally, we met up during lunch at the New Port View Restaurant. After we last saw each other 27 years ago, there was still this one thing in common. Our hair has grown whiter!

During lunch, we exchanged news and updated ourselves about our old uni-mates in civil engineering. Those DID engineers who did their study overseas (not in West Malaysia) were really surprised that we knew each of our uni-mates so well. That's probably one of the great things studying in a local U where most are from the same country  but different parts of Malaysia.

This morning, he called from KL reminding me not to forget him when we need some specialist input when his expertise is required. One thing for sure, consultancy work in KL is competitive and tough. Well, that applies to Sabah as well.

Living Forever

The other day, I read this feature story in Stars about a man who claimed that man would be able to live forever within the next 25 years. He claimed that research has been on-going to unwrap the mystery of the degeneration of human cells. Once the degeneration process can be controlled, man would live on forever and would not die.

Come to think of it, is it good to live forever with this physical body? I don't think so. Can the earth keep on sustaining the ever increasing population? The job seekers will never be able to find jobs because the old people never retire. People who should be gone refuse to go away! That's truly a very terrible place to stay. Don't you think so?

But as Christians, eternity is to come after death with a new spiritual body. Still, there is a lot of questions..... I have this one Primary 5 Praise Kid who said that she could not imagine singing everyday in heaven. Will we be staying in terrace house in heaven? Will there be KFC? I could only say, "Heaven is a beautiful place, it is far more beautiful than you can ever imagine!"

Seen to be Doing Right

My Resident Engineer of the condo project told me that he discovered the contractor had poured Grade 25 concrete for the drain base inside the Basement Floor during the concrete cubes testing. The contractor had earlier stated in the "Requisition Form for Inspection" prior to the pour that Grade 40 concrete would be ordered. G40 is the specified grade for the drain which is structurally connected to the basement floor slab.

The contractor claimed that he thought that the concrete grade for the internal drain is similar to the external drain which is G25. To resolve this, I insisted that the cast concrete be hacked off and recast. The contractor begged and appealed to us to consider keeping what's been cast without removal. After rechecking the design, we decided to keep what's been cast but with a very strong warning to them not to repeat again.

In fact, the contractor wanted everything to be verbal without record so that the client would not know about it. But, I decided that it must be in writing for record purpose. The other reason is that there would be cost adjustment from G40 to a lower grade of G25.

I told my RE that some may consider this to be a trivial matter and may not be known as long as it was kept within the four walls. But then one fine day, somebody may either unintentionally bring the issue out or deliberately raise it for the client's knowledge. By then, it would be too messy to explain.

Therefore, it is always better to be transparent. Not only you have to do it right, you must be seen to be doing right.

Indian Wells ATP Tennis Master 2005

Tennis update

This afternoon, the match between Federer and Kiefer saw Federer thrashing Kiefer in straight set.

Henman was decimated by Canas 7-6, 7-5.

Indian Wells ATP Tennis Masters 2005

Indian Wells ATP Tennis Masters series is now in progress. This afternoon, I saw Agassi thrashed Coria 6-4, 6-1. Really no fight.

Then Federer was neck to neck with Ljubicic. 4-4 when I had to stop watching and  returned to work. Still unsure who finally got through.

Previously, I used to have this bet with Paul on who would win finally. He was real focused on his hero. I tended to go for the underdog.

This year, Paul is not around, so no bet.

Paul, what is your gut feeling this time around?

A "Christian" who Committed Murder & Suicide

In the flight from KK to KL on 13 March, I read this article in the Stars which talked about a murder cum suicide case. This Singaporean man, Simon Lee killed his 2 children (ages 11 and 7), then his wife and then killed himself, apparently because of gambling debts. The article also revealed that 10 years ago, this man had a S$100,000 gambling debts. He came to the church and with the help from the church members, it took 3 years for him to finally clear the debts.

Last night during the dinner of the pre-marital counselors with Pastor and Mrs. Ho Hoe Sing from Singapore at a restaurant along KK-Papar road, Pastor Ho told us that this Simon Lee was also a lay pastor, helping in the praise and worship ministry in the church.

It was truly shocking to learn that a "Christian" could choose such a destructive path for himself. Worse still committing murder along the way. In fact, he never got over his gambling addiction.

When I first read the news, I felt it hard to accept the fact that a church could help to clear someone's gambling debt. After some thought, I felt that the right approach for the church to resolve this man's problem should have been helping him to clear part of his debts. The bulk should be cleared by him. You help someone who is prepared to help himself.

Unfortunately in this case, the help rendered by the church did not yield the kind of result expected. But then, when you help, you do not think too much of the consequence. It takes our wisdom to decide how we should help someone and to what extent we should render help.

Walking My Son's Footsteps

In KL, we stayed in the Subang Park Hotel in SS15, Subang Jaya. We had a chance to retrace the footsteps of Sam when he was in SJ from 2001 - 2003. I passed by SS15/5D and 5C had dinner at New Sea View Restaurant. This is one place Sam had spent countless of times for breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Right, Sam.

It was like yesterday when Sam and I landed in SJ for the first time way back in February 2001. We walked for hours looking for a place to rent. Finally, we found this one single-storey terraced house with a back room. That was his first taste of independent living in this room. Was it tough, Sam?

Well, a lot of water had since passed under the bridge so to speak and Sam has moved on with leaps and bounds. Time truly flies. That was 4 years ago. Sometimes, I really can't believe that it's been 4 years already.

Talking about time, it is a very interesting gift from God. Everyone has the same amount. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. At times, you feel that time passes just too quickly, sometimes it inches along.

The truth is, when you have something to do or you have a dead line to meet, time seems too short and insufficient. But when you have nothing to do, times seems exceptionally long. Well, if your time seems long, do something, read a book, do a bit of research in the internet (of course, looking for the right stuff) and write a blog to capture your thought.

Paul, time may seem long at times when you are away from home. But rest assured, before you know it, time is up and it's time to move on to the next level of life. Capture and treasure every moment that comes along you way. What's gone will never come back again. Even you can repeat doing the same thing again, it will be different because you have grown wiser.

Hanging in the Air

Just back from KL by Air Asia. My wife had a successful minor dental surgery in the University Hospital yesterday morning. Met the Dental Specialist again this morning before we flew back. There will be a review scheduled on 3 May. My wife said that she would take the chance to go to Singapore to see Serene during that time. Final teeth implant is expected to be done in 5-6 months time by Dr. Moy in KK.

The flight back from KL to KK was rather bumpy. In fact, it was similar when our flight took us from KK to KL on Sunday, 13 March. According to the pilot's explanation, the bumpiness was due to the air current caused by the extreme hot weather. As far as I can remember, this kind of rough flights were not so prevalent previously. If what the pilot said is true, rough flights will likely be more and more common in anticipation of global warming.

I can never find comfort flying inside a piece of metal, literally hanging in the air for hours. Thanks to engineering innovation that allows a lump of metal to be suspended for hours in air. In fact, that piece of metal will be hanging in the air as long as it is powered by jet engine and in motion. Once the motion stops, gravity will take over. There goes the free fall. Dreadful thought!

Parenting

Last night, we didn't have our usual Friday night cell meeting. Instead, we had a combined cell in the church to listen to Pastor Ho Hoe Sing from Singapore speaking on "Parenting Children in the Internet Age". Pastor Ho specializes in family issues (marriage and parenting). He used to be a pastor in FCBC but now works as an itinerant speaker.

The scenario that he gave about Singapore is rather shocking. 13,000 adults divorced in 2003. Significant number of children below 16 have already watched 400,000 images of pornography. Youths favourite crimes: shoplifting, theft of porno CD/DVD. Latest favourite crime is stealing 3rd generation hand phones - those that can transmit real time images of the person you are talking to. Some of the perverse acts committed by teens are: Abuse of young kids, biting maid's breast, mutilating animals.

The reasons for such sad scenario in Singapore: Singaporean adults are all too obsesssed in chasing after career and consumerism. They are not interested in having children. Even if they have children, they are not really being raised up by parents but by maids or on their own.

As I look back, our 3 children were raised up in a way by the joint-effort of maid and us parents. As far as I can see, they turn out to be ok. But, there is still this nagging question: Was there a moment when we the parents were not there when our kid or kids needed us? If, it is yes, then I would like to ask for their forgiveness. I just pray that that moment has not had any significant effect on their well being.

Bank and Overseas Tertiary Education

Last night, My wife and I were interviewed by one Hongki calling our house phone from Hong Kong. He worked for Synovate Hong Kong and he got our contact from Serene. He was supposed to interview Paul as well. He talked to us for over an hour from 7.30pm to well over 8.30pm.

The gist of the interview was to have our views on bank preference in handling money destined to support children studying overseas, in our case Australia. In the end, he told us that they were commissioned to do the study for CitiBank of USA.

This Hongki chap who has just worked for Synovate for just over 1 month holds a Degree in Civil Engineering from one Canadian University. On why he gave up civil engineering, he told us that Hong Kong now has very little infrastructure projects and hence not easy to get a decent civil engineering job. On why he didn't try China. He said that China has a lot of smart local engineers who can do even better job than them for half their pay. That's why he decided to switch job before it's too late.

Not a good scenario for civil engineers in Hong Kong.

But then earlier in the flight back from Tawau to KK, I met another civil engineering consulting engineer who also has a consulting firm in Perth. He told me that there is now a great demand for civil engineers in Australia. The job sites are however mostly out of town: in the mines-related infrastructural works. Quite hard life! He faced great difficulty to recruit candidates to fill job vacancies.

In the end, he told me to contact him in the event my son is considering looking for job in Australia after he graduates. That is a piece of good news as far as civil engineers are concerned.

Life After 55

Yesterday, I went to Tawau to attend the monthly site meeting of a Federal-funded low cost housing project. The flight was at 6.10am. So I had to be at the airport as early as 5.05am. I had to get up at around 4.30am! Very early indeed! Well, this is still preferred rather than going one day earlier and to spend the night in the hotel. Not my preference unless I have no choice.

At the airport, I saw a fairly big group of senior citizen golfers. They were on the way to Tawau to join the Senior Citizen Golf Competition. Among them, I saw Datuk Fung, Stephen Liew, Chan HS (Ex-consultant), Tan Sun Chai (Kim's father) and Yap Shau Nam. This Yap fellow used to be our badminton kaki during the 80's. Then, he moved to worship in BCCM Petagas and stopped joining the badminton game. In the last 5 years, he switches to playing golf. He now has a golf handicap of 22. Not bad. He has a steel fabrication workshop and his single client is Wong Kok Group. He does all the iron works for the housing undertaken by Wong Kok Group of companies.

One thing he said to me that is of significance. "If you are not a Christian and not involved in some kind of social activities interacting with people, life would be indeed meaningless".

Indeed, if you live a life solely concerned about your ownself and hardly for others, you would probably be remembered as someone who has existed but has not truly lived.

End of a Life...Beginning of Eternity

This morning, I attended a funeral. The deceased was a secondary school classmate of mine. He worked a short while after finishing Form 5 in 1969. Then he suffered from depression and mental entanglement that he never fully recovered. He had not worked since probably the early 70's. He survived with the support of his family members.

He had high blood pressure and diabetes. He was also on medication for mental problem. Now that he had died, his family who had been taking care of him finally could let go of a burden.

It was a Christian funeral because he came to know the Lord not long ago according to an old schoolmate I met at the funeral.

Sometimes, I still wonder: what is the purpose of living a life like this ?

I think one of the reasons is that: so that somebody can do a small thing for this person which is in fact done on Jesus Christ Himself.

Overused Word : Technical

One of the overused words nowadays I think is "Technical". The usage at times has been abused.

When the government was not prepared to publish certain Investigation Report or Finding, the usual excuse was: "We cannot release it due to technical reason".

When a scheduled event is cancelled at the last minute, the usual excuse from the organizer is: "The event has been cancelled due to some technical problems".

When there is a power outage, the common response from the utility company is: "The outage occurred because of technical problem".

The list goes on. The real reason or reasons were never explained. It is simply covered up with one simple phrase of "Technical Problem".

Don't you get annoyed at this kind of abuse of words. I think at times, more transparent explanation is required rather than mere quoting of the words "Technical Problem".

Don't you agree that the word has been overused ?

The Power Of One

One SONG can spark a moment

One FLOWER can wake the dream

One TREE can start a forest

One BIRD can herald spring

One SMILE begins a friendship

One HANDCLASP lifts a soul

One STAR can guide a ship at sea

One WORD can frame the goal

One VOTE can change a nation

One SUNBEAM lights a room

One CANDLE wipes out darkness

One LAUGH will conquer gloom

One STEP must start each journey

One WORD must start a prayer

One HOPE will raise our spirits

One TOUCH can show you care

One VOICE can speak with wisdom

One HEART can know what is true

One LIFE can make a difference

Author Unknown

God Plans Murders and Crimes ??????

This animal, Ahmad Najib Aris was finally found guilty and convicted of rape and murder of Canny Ong on 23 February. I think many people expressed a sigh of relief to see him convicted of such heinous crime.

But what made me feel kind of uneasy was the way Canny's mother felt about this tragedy. When she was interviewed by the reporter about this extremely sad event, she said (based on newspaper report), "I think whatever happened was planned by God, I am not angry with anyone".

Can God plan for crime and murder to be committed? I dread to think that that is the nature and character of God.

In the story of Job, when Satan approached God to do something to Job so as to test Job's faithfulness, God said' "Very well, he is in your hand...." NIV. I think what it means is that God allowed Satan to execute his scheme. The word is "God allows" and not "God plans". Satan was the initiator and planner in the case of Job.

Therefore, to think that God plans for crime and murder is just doesn't sound right.

Milestone

Last Wednesday was Chap Goh Mei. For the first time, My wife and I had to go for this annual Chap Goh Mei family dinner. Just 15 days ago on Chinese New Year Eve, our family was represented by 4 members. In less than 2 weeks, my 2 sons have left home for further study overseas.

In the past, we went as a family of 5, then 4 after our daughter went overseas for further study; then 3 after our 1st son left home for further study in KL. Now, our youngest son has also left for further study. That leaves 2 of us.

Well, this is another milestone, another fact of life I have to cross and get used to. There are countless of milestones to cross, from the day you are born. Saying Pa and Ma for the first time, taking the 1st step with 2 legs upright, celebrating 1st birthday, going to kindergarten for the 1st time, graduating from kindie, UPSR, PMR, SPM, A-Level ........ the list on milestones goes on.

What IF................

The recent tsunami disaster has never before led to so many "What if....." questions being asked again and again... and will probably be asked until this generation is gone.

I read about a story of a Singapore-based Sabah-born doctor who took his family to Thailand for a holiday. The wife and the daughters returned to Singapore first. The husband decided to extend his stay with his two sons to enjoy some more. They were happily enjoying in the hotel swimming pool when the tsunami struck. The father perished while the sons survived.

The wife would probably ask over and over again:

"What if my husband had returned together with me, he would be alive today"

"What if tsunami struck the next day, then he would have missed the disaster"

"what if we chose to go to Australia instead of Thailand, he would have survived"

"What if....."

"What if....."

This question can be asked again and again and you can never get a satisfactory answer. The fact is history can never be changed.

Why does this "what if" come to my mind...............

Well, I was thinking.... My mom could not tolerate staying in the same house wit my dad and somehow got him sent to a nursing home. He somehow complied without putting a big fuss. What exactly was my dad's thought, I really don't know - Bitter.... Hatred...Despair....

Then, I think. What if it was my mom who was frail and weak and my dad who was strong and healthy. If he decides to send my mom to a nursing home. Would she have complied just as my dad. But then, I think, this is only a "what if", I probably would never know.....