The Inevitability of Life

Much that I want to avoid writing too often about the passing of individuals, I could not find a good reason not to write about John Wan who passed away on 27 March 2022.

I received the news of the passing of John Wan, a good friend and a former badminton buddy from the FB posting of his son, David Wan in the morning of 27 March 2022. John's health had deteriorated gradually over the past couples of years. The passing of his wife in February 2018 probably may have another negative impact on his health.

John whom I normally called Hon Phin had been friend and comrade-in-arms for as long as I can remember. His passing came at a time when barely six weeks ago, another good friend and badminton buddy who has migrated to Canada was talking about organizing a yam cha cum reunion session with all the former badminton buddies in KK when he comes back later this year. There was a tinge of sadness when he mentioned one of the buddies, Peter who could no longer join us (Read here). This time, Hon Phin will be missed if indeed that reunion materializes!

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Hon Phin was comrade-in-arms in many of our endeavours in the BCCM Central, BCCM KK and the schools under the jurisdiction of BCCM KK.

Back in early 1980's, we were involved in the infancy of cross-cultural evangelistic outreach in particular to the Rungus community in the interior of Sabah. I remember soon after I joined one such outing to Pensiangan, I had compiled a set of slides and audio recording of this trip for presentation purpose. In those days when computers and labtops were in their infancy, any group presentation of photos and write-up was done by way of slide projector. He had used these slides and audio recording for fund raising purposes. He even took them along to Vancouver in his Canadian trip to present it to many former BCCM members who had moved to Canada. In return, some Canadian dollars were raised!

We had served as board members of the three schools under BCCM KK jurisdiction for many years. Later on when BCCM KK (C) and BCCM KK (E) became independent and operated under separate church councils, the school board of the three schools, namely SM Lok Yuk, SRK Lok Yuk and SJK(C) Lok Yuk Likas too separated and operated under three separate school boards. I had served as the first Chairman of SRK Lok Yuk and he was the first Chairman of the School Board of SJK(C) Lok Yuk Likas. His tenure in the school board lasted many years. 

He was tireless in improving and upgrading the hardware and the infrastructure of SJK (C) Lok Yuk Likas. Under his leadership as the Board Chairman, he had almost single-handedly built two more school blocks, one of which contain a school hall at its top floor. I was privileged to have worked alongside as the C&S Consulting Engineer for both projects. With his exceptional PR skill and contact, he managed to raise very substantial sum of money from the church members, the public and the government to complete these projects. 

Even in the occasion of his death, his family requested friends and the public not to send any wreath. All gifts instead be donated to SJK (C) Lok Yuk Likas. His passion for Chinese education and in particular the well-being of SJK (C) Lok Yuk is extraordinary. His contribution to elevate this school to what it is today is indisputable!

Wonderful time!

We had badminton sessions at least twice a week in the 80's and 90's. After a couples of sessions, we gathered for feasting and chit-chat. John's house was regularly opened to host these events.

This is one of the two blocks completed under his tenure. The school hall is at the top floor.

The Church Council of BCCM KK in early 1980's. John was the Chairman then and in the photo was seated at the front row fifth from left. I was second from left at the back row. At that time, BCCM KK (E) and BCCM KK (C) still operated as one entity. BCCM KK (C) finally became independent in 1998.

As a delegate from BCCM KK to attend the Biannual BCCM Central Synod in Kudat in early 1980's. John was at front row second from right. I was standing immediately behind him. I was then the youngest among the group. Inevitable in life, many in the group are no longer around!

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On the same day of receiving the news, a former classmate shared in the Chat Group a story by an unnamed author. I find it most appropriate at this time. The story has undergone a bit of minor editing.

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A  woman climbed up the bus and sat down beside a man, hitting him with her bag. When the man remained silent, the woman asked him why he did not complain when she hit him with her bag?

The man replied with a smile: "There is no need to be upset about something so insignificant, as our journey together is so short, because I'm getting off at the next stop"

The response impacted the woman so much that she asked the man to forgive her and she was convinced that these words need to be written in gold. 

Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short, that blackening it with useless arguments, jealousy, unforgiveness, discontentment and bad attitudes are a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

Did someone break your heart?  Stay calm.

The trip is too short. 💛

Did someone betray you, intimidate, cheat or humiliate you? 

Relax - Don't be stressed.

The trip is too short. 💛

Did someone insult you without reason? 

Stay calm. Ignore it.

The trip is too short. 💛

Did someone make a comment  that you didn't like? 

Stay calm. Ignore. Forgive. Keep them in your prayers and love them still for no specific reason. 

The trip is too short. 💛

Whatever the problems some might bring to us, it is a problem only if we think too much of it. Remember that our journey together is too short. 💛

No one knows the length of our trip. No one has seen tomorrow. Nobody knows when the final day will arrive at our doorstep.

Our trip together is too short.💛

Let us appreciate friends and family. Keep them in good humor. Respect them. Let us be respectful, kind, loving and forgiving. Through this, we will be filled with gratitude and joy. 

After all Our trip together is very short. 💛

Share your smiles with everyone. Choose your path to be as beautiful as you wish it to be.

Our Trip is Very Short!  💛

Gone to Meet the Creator

I last saw Uncle Wesley in early November 2019 at the Tionghua Funeral Parlor in Likas to pay my respect to the late Aunti Jainah, the wife of Wesley (Read here). I had planned to visit this uncle who resided in Kiulu early this year. Unfortunately I had to defer the plan due to the outbreak of Covid Omicron variant soon after the Chinese New Year in February this year.

His death on 10 March was posted by my cousin, Esther in her FB on 11 March. At the Tionghua Funeral Parlor on 13 March 22, Esther, one of the children of my late uncle told us that her father was found unconscious in the house compound while he was doing some gardening chore. He never regained consciousness. He left without saying goodbye. Examination of his body revealed a dark blue patch at the back of his neck. Could he have died of aneurysm, just like my mother some years ago? He will be buried in the family burial ground which is just a short walking distance from his house in Kiulu.

Since his wife's death, he had been staying in his family home in Kiulu and was looked after by a full time maid. For someone who had been very closed to his wife all his life, life must have been very challenging without her by his side. His daughter Esther told us that her dad was found occasionally attired in his wife's old clothes in the house. That's the extent of how he missed his wife! Truly heart warming and equally heart breaking! 

Through Uncle Wesley, I have learnt quite a bit about my maternal family line (Read here). His death signals the passing of another familiar person of my mother's generation. 

I had visited him in his home in Kiulu a couple of times (Read here) and he too had also visited me during the Chinese New Year in 2013 (Read here).

He will be missed whenever the place, Kiulu is mentioned or come to mind!

With cousin, Esther in front of the casket of the deceased.

In the visit to the funeral parlor, I have a chance to meet a sister of Uncle Wesley, Aunti Jainih, whom I got to know for the first time. Instantly, I saw a little semblance of my mom in her. This is not surprising because they all carry a bit of the gene of the Gomorun!

Chapter 31: Aerogram's Story - An Aborted Trip to Paris

When clearing some of the old files, I found this aerogram written exactly thirty eight years ago on 5 March 1984. This air letter, a thin lightweight piece of folder paper was popular in the 70's and the 80's. But by late 90's when the use of emails exploded worldwide, this mode of exchanging news almost disappeared instantly.

I received this aerogram from my wife when I was in UK for a short course at the Loughbarough University of Technology, UK. The course on "Airports and Environment" lasted a mere five days from 12 March to 16 March 1984. 

I had planned to do some sight-seeing including a trip to Paris after the end of the course. After the course, I was supposed to travel south from London to Sandwich after which I would cross the English Channel via the Euro-Tunnel to Paris. That's the reason why the letter was addressed to my sister-in-law's house in Sandwich. That letter arrived to its destination slightly too early. It was re-directed by my SIL to an address in London, a friend's home where I stayed. 

I was supposed to have visited Paris. Unfortunately, at the very last minute, I had to cancel the trip and rushed back to Sabah for a new job interview. Earlier,  just before leaving for UK for the short course which was near the end of my second 3-year employment contract, I had applied for a new job in the private sector. In the event I was successful, I would not renew for a third contract with PWD.

In the end, I abandoned the trip to Paris in favour of opting for a new job opportunity. I was fortunate to be successful in my new job interview. That decision changed the course of my whole life. 

By the time I returned to Sabah, it was just a couple of days before my contract with PWD would end on 7 April. The trip to UK turned out to be a sort of a paid overseas holiday trip for my employment contract.

The decision to forgo the trip to Paris was a bitter-sweet decision. It took another thirty years before I finally visited Paris (Read here).