A Season to Live and a Season to Die

It is rare to receive news of the passing of three individuals whom I personally know in a mere three days interval, but it happened.

On the 3rd, I read from FB of the passing of a friend, a professional whom I have known through professional dealings as well as serving together in the committee of a professional body. It was a news unexpected because he was not considered old and without prior health issue. On the 4th, I was informed that the stepmother of my colleague has passed away. This was not unexpected as she was by then 91 years old and with poor health. Then on the 5th, the daughter of my uncle of my extended family called to inform of the passing of her mother, my uncle's spouse, aged 69.

That series of news instantly triggered the phrase, "There is a time to be born and a time to die...". The saying of King Solomon rings more vividly now that many of my peers are in their late sixties and seventies. News of passing is likely to be more frequent rather than less as this is the inevitable process of life.

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When I met my uncle, Wesley Pai on the 6th November at the funeral parlour, his teary eyes spoke volume of his sadness over the passing of his wife. His wife, after struggling with health issue since 2016, finally succumbed to her illness on 5th November. His daughter told me that earlier on, the doctor had recommended an operation be carried out to address her medical problem but her dad refused to sign the consent form. I believe he had come to a realization that it was better for her to "go" than to linger on with suffering and pain.

I was glad that I am one of the people he remembers. According to her daughter, Esther, his first reaction upon learning the death of his wife was to pull out my name card from his wallet and passed it to her to notify me.

Typical timber/bamboo

hut built on farm.

It's been quite a while since I first visited him in his family house in Kiulu in early 2013 (Read here). Now, even in his 80's, he is still sharp and physically fit. When we met, he was happy and eager to recall his unforgettable moment spent with my mother. With smile on his face and nostalgia, he told me of the private moment he spent with my mom when he was only seven and my mom then twelve. In one evening in 1940 in Kampung Pulutan, they were in a small hut in the fruit farm when he suddenly needed water to quench his thirst. Instantly, my mom left the hut alone to the nearby stream to get water for him. After some time, she came back walking gingerly and holding water with cupped hands. That gesture of my mom never left his memory!

He told me that with his spouse gone, it is unlikely that he would stay alone in his family house in Kiulu. He prefers to stay with his youngest daughter in KK.

With the patriarch, Wesley Dungko Pai
at the funeral parlour.

Besides wedding, funeral is probably another occasion to meet members of the whole or part of the family. I managed to meet five of the nine surviving children of Wesley.

Left to right: Linda (eldest), Esther (3rd),
Esther Paula Peter (wife of Moody),
Moody (2nd), Wesley Pai, Rudy (6th),
blogger, blogger's spouse,
Felecia Kajok (wife of Rudy),
Rachel (9th).