Preparing to Say "The Marriage Vow"

In Malaysia, it is mandatory for Muslims to attend a pre-marriage course in order to be eligible to apply for a marriage registration. This requirement, however, does not apply to non-Muslims. In our Church, couples who wish to have their wedding ceremony conducted in the Church - and to have their marriage solemnized by a pastor - are also required to attend a pre-marriage course. This practice has been in place for over twenty years.

This year, only two couples registered for the biennial Pre-Marriage Course conducted from 29.06.2025 to 27.07.2025. Despite the small group, each session was thoughtfully and meticulously planned - beginning with ice-breakers, followed by engaging talks, refreshment breaks and meaningful conversations between the couples.

One of the ice-breakers.

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Some of the mid-session refreshments served.

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Cyndee Khaw and Dr. Ng Tze Yang with Pr. Lo Yi Ping.

Dr. Ivy and Pr. Malvene Chong with Pr. Lo Yi Ping.

The "graduates" and facilitators, helpers and pastor.

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This time, the "Graduation High Tea" was truly exceptional. Every detail, from the elegant table settings to the overall ambience, was meticulously planned. A dedicated team of supporters and friends oversaw the arrangements, achieving a standard comparable to that of fine dining.

David and Dianne - the second generation facilitators.

Kelvin and Wai Yan, who currently serve in the PA system ministry, attended the pre-marriage course nine years ago. Now married with two young children, they are a wonderful example of a couple continuing to grow in faith and service. When invited to step into the role of facilitators for the upcoming course, they responded positively. They will become the third generation of facilitators - a meaningful milestone that reflects the lasting impact of this ministry across the years.

Stepping into Married Life

These days, wedding banquet invitations have become less frequent. Most of our peers, including high school and university friends, have already seen their children married off - and many are now proud grandparents.

On 10 May 2025, we had the joy of attending the wedding of Jonathan and Meei Huey, a couple who had participated in the Pre-Marriage Course organized by our Church in July 2023 (Read here). During the course, we were given the opportunity to connect with them more personally, as we were assigned to spend exclusive time together at our home. This gave us a meaningful chance to walk with them through some of the questionnaires they had completed, deepening conversations about faith, communication and their shared future.

We've known Jonathan since he was a young boy attending the Children’s Sunday School in the early 2000s. It’s truly remarkable how quickly time has passed - he’s now a tall grown man, married and working as a medical doctor. His wife is also a medical doctor, making theirs a union of both hearts and professions.

We can only imagine the challenges they may face as they balance demanding careers with building a family. Still, we are hopeful that the lessons and values they gained from the pre-marriage course will serve as a strong foundation for their journey ahead. We wish them every happiness and blessing as they begin this new chapter together.

With the newly wed couple and the bride's parents taken after the
banquet.

From Pre-Married Couple to Parenthood

As we made our way out of the banquet hall after attending the wedding banquet of Nathaniel and his lovely bride on 04.09.2024, a familiar face caught my eyes. It was Nigel, the groom's younger brother, together with his wife, Casandra - and in their arms, their 6-month old baby boy, George. With their permission, I had the joy of holding and cuddling this little cute fellow - a sweet, cheerful and adorable little boy!

Looking at George, I was instantly transported back to mid-June 2020 - the first time we met his parents. Back then, Nigel and his fiancee were one of the three couples who signed up for the Marriage Preparation Course organized by our Church which ran from 13.06.2020 to 11.07.2020. It was held in the midst of the Covid pandemic (Read here). 

Left photo: With baby George. Right photo: Nigel with his future wife at the "graduation" of Marriage Preparation Course on 11.07.2020.

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The love story of Nigel and his wife is truly a remarkable one. Back then, Nigel was studying in UK while she was pursuing her studies in Canada. Their paths crossed in an unexpected place - Poland - during a student excursion trip. 

As fate would have it, they discovered they were both from Sabah, a shared hometown that quickly became the perfect ice breaker. This common connection sparked a conversation, which soon blossomed into genuine friendship. They kept in touch after the trip, and over time, their bond deepened. What began as a chance meeting grew into a lasting and committed relationship.

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Nigel's parents have been long time friends of mine, and his father, Yun Kim has been one of the yamcha kaki (tea-time buddies) for many years.

An old photo of one of the yamcha sessions taken at Kedai Kopi Chakidian, Damai Plaza Phase 4 before the outlet was permanently closed in 2022 after the Covid pandemic. Yun Kim was seated second from left while I was sitting at his left.

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While I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the bride's parents, I do know her aunts, Fen Lan and Fen Kiok (her father's sisters) very well. In fact, during our tour of Canada, they graciously opened their home for my wife and me to stay when we visited Toronto (Read here). Their hospitality is something we've always remembered with deep appreciation.

Getting Ready for Marriage

I’ve lost count of the number of couples who have signed up for and completed the Pre-Marriage Course since it first began more than twenty years ago. Over the years, we’ve had the privilege of journeying with countless couples - each bringing their own unique stories, hopes, and commitment to the process.

While every group has been memorable in its own way, the most recent batch of five couples stood out as one of the most enthusiastic and committed we’ve ever had. Remarkably, not a single session was missed throughout the five consecutive Sundays in July. One particularly dedicated couple joined the first four sessions online from Kuala Lumpur, and then flew all the way to Kota Kinabalu just to attend the final session in person - a testament to their dedication and eagerness to learn and grow together.

Looking back, it’s been three years since we last facilitated a group - just three couples then - shortly after Covid-19 was declared endemic in Malaysia (Read here). The long gap made this recent experience all the more refreshing and encouraging, reminding us once again of the value and impact of walking with couples as they prepare for married life.

The Three Married Couples who facilitated the sessions.

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High tea immediately after the 5th Session and just before receiving the graduation certificates.

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The “graduates” were visibly delighted to have completed the course. During the final sharing session, one participant thoughtfully remarked that he couldn’t single out any one session as more important than the others. For him, each of the five key themes - Connection, Commitment, Communication, Conflict, and Adventure - held equal significance in the lifelong journey of marriage. Every lesson, he noted, builds upon the others, offering a holistic foundation that couples can draw upon through the various seasons of their relationship.

Adding to the moment was a heartfelt reflection from a former participant who had completed the same course seven years ago. Now married with two children and faithfully serving on the technical/PA team, he offered words that resonated deeply with the new graduates. With a knowing smile, he said, “This is only the beginning of a long journey - one that will test the tenacity and endurance of every couple.”

Spoken with the quiet authority of lived experience, his words were both sobering and encouraging - a gentle reminder that while the course may end, the real work and joy of marriage is a lifelong adventure.

"Graduates" and facilitators, helpers and
the pastoral team.

Facilitators, helpers and pastoral team.

The Power of Love

Osho, the Indian public speaker, once said, "When you love a person, all fear disappears. And when you are afraid, all love disappears."

This profound truth was clearly reflected in the unwavering commitment of the three young couples who signed up for the Marriage Preparation Course. Their determination to move forward with love, despite uncertainty, is a testament to the idea that love indeed conquers fear.

At the height of the Movement Control Order (MCO) imposed to curb the spread of the Covid-19 pandemic, the course - originally scheduled for June and July - proceeded as planned. Against the odds, the couples faithfully attended all six sessions. Equally commendable were the married-couple facilitators who braved the restrictions and showed up in person to guide the lessons, embodying a spirit of service and solidarity.

Ultimately, the couples' dreams of a traditional church wedding were thwarted by the ever-extending MCO. For their families - who had looked forward to joyful banquets and heartfelt celebrations with relatives and friends - those hopes, too, had to be set aside.

Yet, pandemic or not, their resolve to begin married life together remained unshaken. The legal process to solemnize their marriages continued - if only for now, without the church bells and banquet halls. Love, after all, cannot be postponed.

Stephanie and Bryan.

Presentation of certificates to confirm 

they have completed the Marriage 

Preparation Course.

Paul Tied The Knot

Paul’s wedding is finally over. As I look back on the entire journey, it has been a mixture of waiting, moments of worry, occasional anxiety, and ultimately, a deep sigh of relief - accompanied by a broad smile of satisfaction.

The wedding was held at the picturesque Shangri-La’s Rasa Ria Resort, nestled by Dalit Bay, about 35Km from Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. The two key planners - none other than the bride and groom - were based in two different countries: Newcastle, Australia and Singapore. Apart from a brief visit to KK earlier in the year for a preliminary discussion with the hotel, all arrangements were coordinated remotely via countless emails. With the invaluable support from Paul's parents based in KK, the planning came together impressively well. On the day itself, everything unfolded smoothly, with barely a hitch - at least from the guests’ perspective.

Throughout the preparations, whenever the parents expressed concern or apprehension, the ever-composed groom would simply say, “Don’t worry, everything will work out fine!” His calm demeanor echoed the Chinese proverb, “船到橋頭自然直” - “The boat will naturally straighten itself when it reaches the bridge.”

That said, the wedding was not without its moments of suspense. It could have been just another typical indoor ceremony, if not for what seemed like divine intervention. Weather forecasts had predicted heavy rain by 6pm on the wedding day, 04.07.2015. But the rain never came. In fact, a light shower earlier in the day helped to cool the temperature to a pleasantly comfortable level, much to everyone’s delight.

The forecast prompted the hotel management to move the dinner indoors, opting for an air-conditioned restaurant over the original open-air plan. In hindsight, this precaution turned out to be a blessing, sparing guests from potential mosquito bites and stifling humidity. But as the weather held up beautifully, the ceremony proceeded outdoors as originally envisioned. Everything turned out better than hoped for - an unforgettable celebration marked by grace, joy, and just the right touch of drama.

We have three children - and thank God, each of them has shown an uncanny and admirable instinct in choosing a life partner with whom to share their future.

Interestingly, all three chose distinct and meaningful wedding venues that reflected their personalities and values. Our eldest daughter, Serene, held her wedding in December 2004 at the Chapel of the Trinity Theological College in Singapore - a serene and sacred space set within a theological seminary. Our second child, Sam, opted for a more historical setting: the beautifully restored CHIJMES Chapel in Singapore, originally built in 1904 and steeped in colonial-era charm. Then came our youngest, Paul, who took a different route altogether - he chose a beach wedding by the sea at Shangri-La’s Rasa Ria Resort in Sabah.

To have two weddings within just two months was, without a doubt, a remarkable stretch for the family - emotionally, logistically, and spiritually. But now that all three children are married, I can finally say, with a deep sense of contentment, that I am a free man. The season of planning weddings and writing wedding speeches has come to a close. And what a sweet relief it is!

Delivering wedding speech.

The complete Lee's Family

The Lee's and the Lai"s