The Circle and Seasons of Life

Late Saturday morning, 12 September, a message was posted in the MU Fifians chat group. It was originally sent by the daughter of Low Wai Yee, Ester Tan and conveyed to us through a fellow ex-Fifian. She informed us that her mother’s condition had deteriorated and that her carbon dioxide levels were rising.

The message further informed that Wai Yee was still alert and relatively free of symptoms, and she was able to talk with her family. She then made a courageous and deeply personal decision. She told her family that she did not want to be intubated. Her family understood and respected her wishes. They said their goodbyes and kept her comfortable with BiPAP support.

Just before 10pm on Monday, 14 September, another brief message came from her daughter: “My mom passed away at 1.15pm in the afternoon.” It was a message that brought home the finality of what we had anticipated.

Wai Yee had first personally shared the news with the Fifians group on 7 December 2024: “Sad to inform that I have early stage of pancreatic cancer. Going for treatment soon. Thanks for prayers. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance!”

Those words, written with such courage and hope, were still fresh in our memories.

Receiving the news of the passing of an old university friend is especially difficult when it comes immediately after celebrating the wedding of a young couple - a joyful occasion marking the beginning of a new chapter in life.

Yet, perhaps this is precisely the rhythm and mystery of life. Within a short span, we witnessed both a beginning and an ending: a young couple embarking on their journey together, and a friend completing hers.

As Ecclesiastes reminds us: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die.”

Life moves between these seasons - birth and death, beginnings and endings, joy and sorrow. And in between lies the gift of the journey: the people we meet, the friendships we make, the memories we leave behind, and the lives we touch.

May Wai Yee now rest peacefully in the presence of the Lord, and may God comfort her family, relatives and all of us who mourn her passing.

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Original 1973 old b/w photo.

AI-colourized 1973 old photo of some of the members of
the 5th Residential College Christian Group.

Front row from left: Wong Kim Kong (deceased), Yogeswaran (deceased). Second row from left: Me, Sun Nan Ping, Jenny Wee and Penny Lim. Back row from left: Low Wai Yee (Deceased), Quah Mooi Eng (Deceased), Joyce Ting, Ho Wai Suet and David Tow (Deceased).

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My wife and I first got to know Wai Yee when we enrolled as freshies at the University of Malaya in 1973 and were assigned to stay at the 5th Residential College.

A Christian Resident Fellow at the Residential College, David Tow who was a lecturer at the Faculty of Education opened his home on weekend evenings, providing a place where believers and pre-believers could come together for fellowship, conversation and friendship. It was in this setting that many of us came to know one another more closely.

After graduation, we went our separate ways to pursue our careers, build our families and establish our lives. As the years passed, however, some of those friends who had shared our formative university years gradually left us and went ahead of us into eternity.

Yageswaran was the first, passing away in December 2005 (Read here), followed by Quah Mooi Eng in August 2014 (Read here). David Tow, the former College Resident Fellow who returned to Australia after his retirement, passed away in October 2017. More recently, we lost KC Ho in February 2024 (Read here) and Wong Kim Kong in September 2024 (Read here).

With the passing of Wai Yee, six among our group have now gone ahead of us.

It is sobering to realise how quickly the years have passed. The young university students we once were are now in the later seasons of our lives. The friendships formed more than five decades ago remain precious, even as the circle of those who shared those early years becomes smaller.

Perhaps this is another reminder that life is indeed a journey - and that, one day, each of us will come to the end of our earthly journey. For those of us who believe in Christ, however, death is not the end, but a passage into eternal life with our Lord.

original 1973 old b/w photo.

AI-colourized old 1973 group photo of
5th Residential College Christian Group.

Front row from left: Quah Mooi Eng (deceased), Low Wai Yee (deceased), Teoh Guek Yean, Wong Kim Kong (deceased), Yogeswaran (deceased) and me. David Tow is at right of second row.

The Legacy of a Simple Man - Remembering My Dad

25 January 2026 was an ordinary Sunday, yet for me it marked the twentieth anniversary of my father’s passing (Read here) and (Read here). As the years recede into history and the date grows quieter with time, it remains a day I pause to remember.

Like many father–son relationships, the lessons and values he planted made greater sense as I grew older - felt more deeply, perhaps, after he was gone.

He will be remembered as an ordinary father, but in his quiet simplicity he inspired in me the desire to be better and to strive for more in life.

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A couple of years before his passing on 25 January 2006, he moved into a care home as his mobility declined and he required full-time attention.

On Christmas Day in 2004, we were able to bring him to my home for a family gathering. That occasion turned out to be the last time he joined us together as a family - a memory that has grown more precious with time.

Family photo taken on 25.12.2004.

My Older Brother Breathed His Last

The passing of my older brother, Teck Fui, was not entirely unexpected. He had been unwell and wheelchair-bound for over three years. When my younger brother, Tet Yin, informed me on 19.10.2025 that Teck Fui had been admitted to the Emergency Ward of QE1, I was mentally prepared that this might be a difficult hurdle for him to overcome.

In the afternoon of 22.10.2025, all the siblings and family members gathered at the ward to see him. By then, he was unconscious and no longer able to communicate or respond. Looking at his condition, we knew this could very well be the last time we would see him before he breathed his last. About two hours after we left at around 4:30 p.m., I received news that he had passed away at 6:33 p.m.

At that moment, I was at a funeral parlour paying my last respects to another friend, Vincent Lee (Read here).

My wife and I visited him on 22.12.2024 just before Christmas.

Before Teck Fui’s passing, I had visited him a few times at his home. I recall during one of those visits, in a lighthearted conversation, he mentioned that he was ready to go at any time. I jokingly replied that in some countries, euthanasia had become legal. He immediately smiled and said that he would be happy to go that way - unfortunately, no one was willing to set up the mechanism for him to do so!

Other members of my family also made it a point to visit him at his home whenever they returned from overseas.

Serene's family paid him a visit at his house on 29.01.2025 during CNY 2025 season.

Sam and Rachel visited him on 14.03.2024.

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This is a brief "Biodata" he submitted to his class teacher in 1964, when he was in Form 1. Even at that young age, he had already chosen to call himself Elvis, a name inspired by his musical idol, Elvis Presley, who had mesmerized the world from the 1950s through the 1970s. The King of Rock and Roll clearly left a deep imprint on his heart. He loved the guitar and would spend hours strumming and singing. In school, he even formed a band with like-minded friends who shared his passion for music.

Elvis is the guitarist at right.

Besides pop music, he devoted much of his time to serving as the choir conductor at BCCM KK in the late 1960s to early 1970s. Many choir members remembered him as a strict musician who insisted that every singer, be they in soprano, alto, tenor, and bass alike to hit and maintain the correct note.

This is an old photo of the choir presentation in the old Chapel (Read here) in Signal Hill likely in year 1970.

An old photo of the Church Choir taken in the late 1960s at the compound of old BCCM church at Signal Hill. Teck Fui is at back row 3rd from right and I am 4th from left at back row.

During Chinese festive seasons such as Chinese New Year, the Zhongzi Festival and the Winter Solstice, members of my extended family would usually gather for reunion dinners at my old family home, where my parents once lived before they passed away (Read here). My brother had been a regular attendee until 2022, when declining health and mobility issues prevented him from joining us. For Chinese New Year 2023, the reunion dinner on New Year’s Eve was held at his home instead. That was the last reunion he participated in.

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Photo taken at the funeral parlour with maternal relatives and friends.

At the funeral, Elvis’ immediate family was represented by his wife, Lisa; his eldest son, Kent, who flew in from Perth; and his other son, Ted, together with Ted’s wife, Winnie Lai. 

Before Kent left Perth for Kota Kinabalu for the funeral, he informed the family that his wife, Nicole Sim, and their two children, Ava and Joshua, were unable to attend the funeral. In the message, he also shared the latest photographs of Ava and Joshua, which are shown below. Ava and Joshua have indeed grown considerably since we last saw them in Mandurah, WA more than seven years ago in April 2018 (Read here).

Memorial service in progress.

Many of the guests who came to the funeral parlour to pay their last respects were contractors and professionals with whom he had worked with during his career in architectural practice. He began working immediately after finishing Form 5 in high school at the end of 1968, joining an architectural firm as a draftsman. Over the years, through dedication and experience, he became a de facto architect, effectively performing the role of an architect, though without the credentials to sign off as a Professional Architect.

In the course of my own professional career as a C&S Engineering Consultant, our firm collaborated with the firm where he worked on numerous projects. One notable example was the construction of the Sabah Publishing House Headquarters in Kolombong, where he served as the Architect and I as the C&S Engineer.

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Photo taken at the funeral parlour with paternal relatives and friends.

Some of the siblings, their spouses, his sons and paternal cousins taken on 27.10.2025 at the crematorium.

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My brother’s readiness to embrace death reminded me of a book I read earlier this year, written by William Wan, titled "Through the Valley". In it, the author quoted Dr. Ho Eu Chin, an ENT surgeon, who shared his thoughts on death:

If I could stop death from happening and human beings could live forever, what would that mean to my life journey? Would there be any urgency to get anything done? Why bother to complete a task today when there's always tomorrow, the day after, and after, and after, into infinity? All the goalposts in life would be expunged of any real meaning. Why complete an education and start a career in my 20s; why plan to settle down and have a family in my 30s; why aim to be at the top of my game by my 40s? 

Why would I not delay any journey for as long as possible if I had all the time in the world? Would I even want to start a journey if there was no end in sight? Why would I need to save for old age when that is something that will never ever arrive? 

Paradoxically, the profound meaning of life exists precisely because it has an end. The finite period of my time on this earth and the uncertainty of its duration are powerful driving forces for me to strive on to achieve my goals.

Celebrating the Life of a Friend - Vincent Lee

The WhatsApp message bearing the news of Vincent Lee’s passing came as a great shock to me. It was completely unexpected, arriving just two hours after his passing at 6:30 p.m. on Monday evening, 20 October 2025.

At the funeral parlour on 22 October 2025, we learned more about the circumstances surrounding his sudden departure. Just six months earlier, Vincent had been diagnosed with cancer in the nasal area. He underwent surgery to remove the cancerous cells, followed by a series of chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments. However, complications arose during his recovery - due to the need for assisted feeding through a tube. He later suffered a stroke, and eventually developed a blood clot, which became a key factor leading to his untimely passing.

Tribute by Yun Fon and son, Amos during the memorial service conducted at BCCM KK at 9.00am on 23 October 2025 just before his burial.

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I would say our friendship began in 2006 when Vincent and his soon-to-be wife, Yun Fon, signed up for the Marriage Preparation Course prior to their wedding (Read here). Years later, after the birth of their only child, Amos, the couple once again joined a Marriage Enrichment Course organised by BCCM KK (E) in September/October 2013, where my wife and I served as facilitators. Through these encounters, a bond of friendship quietly took root and continued to grow.

Group photo of participants at the "graduation" of the Marriage Enrichment Course held on 10 October 2013. Vincent is standing fourth from the right, with his wife seated directly in front of him.

Our friendship blossomed further when a group of like-minded friends started the yamcha sessions in 2017. Held faithfully every Sunday afternoon from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. at Kedai Kopi Chakitiam, the informal gatherings became a space where anyone who wished to chat or share stories was warmly welcomed. Most of the participants were our cell group members and fellow churchgoers from BCCM KK (E).

Vincent, being a regular attendee, was among the most sociable of us all. He had a natural gift for conversation and a genuine interest in people. Through his lively storytelling and openness, we came to know much about his life, his experiences, his unwavering Christian faith and his family.

He came from humble beginnings and spent much of his childhood with his father in Tawau after his parents separated. Despite the challenges and the lack of a tertiary education, he built a successful career in marketing and sales through sheer determination and hard work. Even after retiring at sixty, his passion for work never waned - he was re-engaged as a sales executive for earthmoving heavy machinery and continued working almost to the very end of his life.

He was a gifted storyteller, with an inexhaustible trove of tales drawn from his life’s journey. One story he often loved to recount was how his marriage to Yun Fon came about - a union he always described as a divine intervention. In his younger days, when he was still uncertain about whom to marry, he once had a vivid dream in which Yun Fon’s image appeared clearly before him. That vision, he would say, was the sign he needed - the moment he knew she was the one destined for him.

He was a generous and selfless man, always ready to lend a helping hand wherever there was a need. Among his many charitable deeds, he faithfully volunteered as a van driver every Saturday, ferrying children to and from the weekly Praise Kids meetings. In addition, he served diligently in the Welcoming Ministry, greeting churchgoers with his warm smile and kind words at the entrance of the 10:30 a.m. Sunday Worship Service at Kyrugma House. His quiet acts of service reflected his heart of compassion and genuine love for people.

Yamcha session at Kedai Kopi Chakitiam on 30 July 2017.

Once in a while, Vincent would bring along his son, Amos, to join our yamcha sessions. This photo was taken on 15 October 2017, when Amos was just nine years old.

7 January 2018

19 August 2018

A rare occasion of yamcha on 2 September 2018 which was joined by my wife; Catherine, the wife of Joseph and Jessie, the wife of Kah Fah. (Joseph is not in photo because he was the photographer).

5 May 2019.

Occasionally, I would receive calls from him at my office, inviting me to join him for a cup of coffee whenever he was nearby. This photo was taken on 15 June 2020 at Kedai Kopi Chakitiam, during the partial lifting of the lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Vincent joined in the joyous celebration of Joseph’s graduation from Sabah Theological Seminary on 9 November 2019. Joseph had successfully completed his part-time course, and the occasion marked a proud milestone in his journey of faith and learning.

Although Vincent was not a member of our Cell Group, he often made a deliberate effort to join some of our gatherings and stay connected with us. One such occasion was our CG Christmas Pot-Bless Lunch on 18 December 2023, where he came to share in the fellowship, joy, and festive spirit of the season.

At the fundraising dinner for Jireh Home, Tuaran, held at the Putra Ballroom on 19 January 2024, we extended our invitation to both Vincent and Yun Fon, along with several other close friends. It was a meaningful evening of fellowship. My youngest brother, Tet Ying was not in the photo because he was the photographer.

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Kedai Kopi Chakitiam at Damai Plaza Phase 4 was once our favourite spot for regular Sunday afternoon yamcha sessions, where laughter and lively conversations flowed freely over cups of local coffee. Unfortunately, the outlet ceased operations soon after the COVID-19 pandemic in 2022. Undeterred, our group found a new gathering place at Kedai Kopi Gunung Emas in Borneon, continuing the cherished tradition of fellowship and friendship over coffee.

Yamcha session at Kedai Gunung Amas on 5 May 2024.

Having spent seventy (03.01.1955 - 20.10.2025) meaningful years on this earth, Vincent truly made a difference in the lives of many who crossed his path. He will be fondly remembered for his warmth, kindness, and cheerful presence - especially by his yamcha buddies, with whom he shared countless moments of laughter, stories and friendship.

A Sudden Farewell: Remembering Gerald Goh

When a connect group member asked me whether the news of the passing of Gerald Goh was credible on 28.09.2025, I immediately contacted Kelvin, Gerald’s son, to verify the news. Kelvin confirmed via WhatsApp that it was indeed true. He explained that he was then in Singapore, where his father had suddenly passed away on Thursday, 25.09.2025. The family planned to bring his cremated remains back to Kota Kinabalu on Tuesday, 30.09.2025.

At the Memorial Service held at 1.00 pm on 30.09.2025 at Tionghua Eternal Resting Abode, we finally heard the full account of his passing. Just about a week before his death, the family had gathered in KK to celebrate Kelvin’s wedding. With everyone present, they decided to spend a holiday together in Singapore.

In the morning of 25.09.2025, shortly after breakfast at a hotel near the well-known Orchard Road, Singapore, Gerald and his family set out to explore the nearby area. While walking along the pedestrian walkway, Monica, his wife, suddenly felt Gerald’s hand resting on her shoulder. The next moment, when she turned to look at him, he collapsed and fell unconscious. An ambulance was immediately called, and paramedics worked tirelessly to resuscitate him. Tragically, despite their repeated efforts, Gerald never regained consciousness. A doctor later confirmed that he had passed away from cardiac arrest.

Gerald and Monica were once active members of our Connect Group. Whenever CG meetings were held at their home in Taman Orkid, we could always look forward to a delightful spread of refreshments - or more accurately, a full meal. Monica would prepare an array of home-cooked dishes, turning every gathering into both a time of fellowship and a feast.

Gerald is 5th from right and I am at his right.

I also remember Gerald as one of the Golden Joy participants who joined the trial cycling activity on 09.04.2017, shortly after a talk on “Cycling” during the Golden Joy Senior Citizens fellowship meeting on 06.04.2017. Out of the whole group who tried it, only my wife and I continued with the hobby, and we still cycle to this day. (Read here).

With Gerald's daughters, Desiree and Angie.

Gerald is partially hidden at left.

During the Chinese New Year of 2020, Angie and Desiree returned from overseas to join their family reunion. On 02.02.2020, I had the joy of meeting them, together with their parents, when the entire family attended the Sunday worship service at BCCM KK (English). Not long after that, on 18.03.2020, Malaysia went into a nationwide lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

At the church sanctuary taken on 17.12.2020.

Gerald is back row 3rd from right.

Monica is at front row 5th from left.

A group photo of our CG taken on 17.12.2020. That evening just before Christmas, a casual walk was organized at the BCCM KK church. Both Gerald and Monica joined the event.

After year 2020, they no longer attended the CG meetings regularly. One day, I happened to meet them by chance, and they explained that they were now worshipping at BCCM Tanjung Aru, as it was nearer to their home. I believe another reason for the change was the service time - BCCM Tanjung Aru holds its worship service at 10.30am, which is certainly more convenient than the much earlier 7.30am service at BCCM KK (E).

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The Memorial Service at Tionghua Eternal Resting Abode was conducted by Rev. Johnny Wong. In that occasion, I discovered that Rev. Wong is the in-law of Gerald and Monica, as their son Kelvin had married his daughter just a week before Gerald’s passing. This made the service all the more poignant, as the family moved from the joy of a wedding celebration to the sorrow of a sudden farewell within such a short span of time.

The Memorial Service in progress.

At the close of the Memorial Service, Angie, the eldest daughter, stepped forward to express a heartfelt word of thanks on behalf of the family. Her words of gratitude conveyed the family’s deep appreciation for the love, prayers, and support shown to them during this time of grief.

Once the remains of Gerald was placed at the columbarium of Tionghua Eternal Resting Abode, guests were invited for lunch at Cherry Club & Restaurant.

From left: Kelvin's wife, Kelvin, Angie,

Desiree, Monica, Me and Floris.

Group photo after the lunch at the Cherry Club & Restaurant organized by the family immediately after the Memorial Service.

Gerald had always presented the picture of good health. According to his family, he made it a daily habit to check his blood pressure each morning to ensure he was in good condition. Yet, despite such consistent care and precaution, he still succumbed to sudden death. In the end, death is a reality that can befall anyone, no matter how vigilant or cautious one may be.

On reflection, such a sudden passing is never easy for the surviving family members to bear. There was no chance for a proper farewell, no last words exchanged, and no time to prepare for the loss. In a sense, the abruptness of it all leaves little room for closure, making the grief even harder to process.

For Monica, the loss is especially profound. She now faces the difficult journey of adjusting to life without the daily companionship, care, and support of her husband. The silence left in Gerald’s absence is one that no one else can truly fill.

Yet, some may say that Gerald’s sudden departure was, in a way, a blessing for him. He was spared the long and painful struggles of illness that can render one immobile and dependent, and he was not burdened with the thought of being a prolonged weight on his loved ones. While this offers a measure of comfort, it does not lessen the deep sense of loss felt by those he has left behind.

For the children, life too must continue in different parts of the world. Angie, the eldest daughter, will soon return to the UK, where she has been living with her husband for the past twenty years. Desiree, the second daughter, will go back to Brisbane, where she resides with her husband, Chan Yi Hau, and their five-year-old daughter. Desiree, in fact, once played a special role in our tour in New Zealand - she was our “guide” in Auckland during our driving tour of New Zealand back in February-March 2016 (Read here).

RIP Rev. Dr. Pang Ken Phin

In the morning of 26.09.2025, I received the heartbreaking news through a WhatsApp chat group that Rev. Dr. Pang Ken Phin had passed away at 5.50 a.m. that day. The news struck me deeply, coming barely two months after I had been reconnected with my wedding chauffeur (Read here). While Edward was the one who drove the wedding car, it was Rev. Pang who officiated the wedding blessing ceremony, solemnizing our marriage on that memorable morning of 07.04.1979. Her passing feels especially poignant, as both of them are forever intertwined with one of the most significant milestones of my life.

At the time of my wedding, she was just thirty-two - five years my senior - a young pastor appointed as the Pastor-in-Charge of BCCM KK. She was warm, approachable, and down-to-earth, embodying both grace and dedication in her pastoral calling. I had the privilege of working alongside her during my service as a church council member, where she provided steady leadership with humility and kindness.

Later, when she was transferred to BCCM Penampang Chinese congregation, she extended her trust by inviting me several times to helm the pulpit and share sermons with the congregation. Eventually, when she moved on to serve as a lecturer at Sabah Theological Seminary (STS), our paths continued to cross occasionally whenever I attended Board of Governors meetings at the seminary. Each encounter reaffirmed her genuine spirit, steadfast faith and commitment to nurturing others in ministry.

Her life was also deeply connected to mine in another way. Her husband, Liong Fah, an engineer, was my very first colleague when I began my career in April 1978. At that time, he was heading the KK International Airport Unit, while I was assigned to the same office on secondment to assist with the construction of the new terminal building. Our early professional paths crossed in a way that now feels providential, as it was through these connections that I came to know both him and Rev. Pang, whose lives would touch mine so meaningfully.

Rev. Dr. Pang Ken Phin’s passing is a profound loss. She was not only a pastor and teacher but also a friend, mentor and a significant part of my life’s journey. Her legacy lives on in the many lives she touched with her faith, humility and dedication to God’s work.

A couple of old photos of our wedding blessing ceremony on 07.04.1979 conducted at BCCM KK Church and solemnized by Rev. Dr. Pang.

At that time, female pastoral workers were not permitted to be ordained with the title of “Reverend”. However, a turning point came when a motion was later passed to amend the constitution of the BCCM, paving the way for women to be officially ordained. Rev. Dr. Pang, together with another female pastor, Rev. Chong Fui Yung, made history as the first two women to be ordained as Reverends in BCCM. Their ordination not only marked a significant milestone for gender equality within the church but also served as an inspiration for future generations of women called to pastoral ministry.

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From left: Me, Pastor Yong Tin Jin (In charge of BCCM KK English Congregation), Rev. Dr. Pang Ken Phin, Captain Donald Soh, WO K Ravi, Rita Ho and WO Liew Yun Fung.

Rev. Dr. Pang also served as the 1st Chaplain of the 2nd Kota Kinabalu Boys Brigade Company which was under the jurisdiction of BCCM KK. I served for a couple of years as a Warrant Officer of the Company in the 1980s.

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The last message I received from both Liong Fah and Rev. Pang was during Christmas 2018, when they shared a Christmas card in the WhatsApp group for former BCCM KK Youth Fellowship members. 

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Group photo with some of Rev. Dr. Pang's family members and friends after paying our last respects at the Funeral Parlour in the afternoon of 29.09.2025.

At the funeral parlour, I came to know from her family members that Rev. Dr. Pang had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about four and a half years ago, in 2020, during the difficult period of the Covid-19 pandemic. Despite undergoing treatment and bravely facing the illness, she was eventually called home by the Lord Almighty, to enter into her eternal rest.

May her soul rest in peace. 

RIP, Rev. Dr. Pang.