Death is one word not many people are comfortable to talk about. One question often comes to mind is "What is the most appropriate time to die?".
It is natural that everyone wishes to die at the most appropriate time. The fact is that appropriateness in terms of timing is more for the living rather than for the dead. The impact of the recent airplanes disasters to the the closed family members and relatives who are left behind is truly horrific and painful. Such untimely deaths would be very difficult to be accepted as this occurred in such "inappropriate" time.
King Solomon said, "There is a time for everything, .....a time to be born and a time to die.....". I can think of at least three Bible characters whom I considered had very timely deaths.
Abraham lived 175 years. Then he breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years.
Isaac lived 180 years. Then he breathed his last and died, old and full of years.
Jacob's life was even more appropriately ended in that he could gather all his loved ones just before he died. It was recorded that when he had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people.
Abraham lived 175 years. Then he breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years.
Isaac lived 180 years. Then he breathed his last and died, old and full of years.
Jacob's life was even more appropriately ended in that he could gather all his loved ones just before he died. It was recorded that when he had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people.
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On 26 February 2015, I accompanied my wife and flew to JB for the occasion of a reunion gathering of her classmates of the Class of 1970 of CHIJ Batu Pahat. The get-together was scheduled on 28 Feb 2015. It was also our plan to spend a day or two with her parents who are now in their eighties. A day before our departure, we received news that my father-in-law had a stroke and was sent to the Batu Pahat Hospital. He was unconscious and his body was half paralyzed as a result of the stroke.
We visited him in the hospital the moment we reached Batu Pahat. He could no longer talk but we sensed that he could still hear because of his squeezing of our hands when we held his hands. Scan of his brain confirmed haemorrhaging. There was "debates" among his children concerning what course of action to take - To carry out a brain operation with the hope of keeping him alive or to forgo the operation but to keep him in utmost comfort? Whether he survives or succumbs to the illness would be entirely in the hand of God.
When the children seemed to opt for the second option, at least one sounded disappointed when he whatsapped, "Any positive side we could look to? Dad is still not giving up. Should we give up then!".
In the midst of seeing the uncertainty among some of the children. I recalled my father-in-law's life as against the Bible characters who died at the ripe old age. I whatsapped at 3.25pm on 27.02.15: "For the hesitant, it's time to be strong to come to face the very likely ultimate eventuality before it is too late". The message was intended to encourage those who had yet to physically come to see him breathing his last breath to do so as quickly as possible.
He breathed his last at 6.57pm on 28.02.2015 with practically all his family members having spent their final moment with him.
I came to know this man because of my marriage to his youngest daughter. He came to Sabah only once in 1979 to attend our wedding.
He was a simple man, a man who spoke only when necessary. That was my impression of him. I recall writing to him in 1978 for permission to marry his daughter. He never replied. That did not matter because he did hand his daughter to me for marriage later on.
In the early years of our marriage, I could tell that he was a well respected figure among the people of Sri Gading. Many locals irrespective of races and religions dropped by the house to seek his advice on land matter, dealings with local authorities etc. Literally everyone in the little town knew him.
Then, in the last few years, less and less people came to look for him. It was understandable because all his peers were gone and that new rules and regulation implemented by the authority were beyond his understanding. He became more and more a lonely man.
Whenever I visited Sri Gading, I made it a point to let him belanjar me or paid for my breakfast either at the favorite Roti Canai eatery or the Lontong eatery. Those were times when he told me many of his life stories and some of his deeds rendered to the community. He enjoyed telling those stories though some were repeats. My last and only travel for a short tour with him was done in late January 2013. We did a day tour all the way to the most southern tip of mainland Asia: Tangjung Piai (Read here and here).
I may add that his close family members were with him when he died and many who knew him, his friends and acquaintances came to bid him farewell.
We visited him in the hospital the moment we reached Batu Pahat. He could no longer talk but we sensed that he could still hear because of his squeezing of our hands when we held his hands. Scan of his brain confirmed haemorrhaging. There was "debates" among his children concerning what course of action to take - To carry out a brain operation with the hope of keeping him alive or to forgo the operation but to keep him in utmost comfort? Whether he survives or succumbs to the illness would be entirely in the hand of God.
When the children seemed to opt for the second option, at least one sounded disappointed when he whatsapped, "Any positive side we could look to? Dad is still not giving up. Should we give up then!".
In the midst of seeing the uncertainty among some of the children. I recalled my father-in-law's life as against the Bible characters who died at the ripe old age. I whatsapped at 3.25pm on 27.02.15: "For the hesitant, it's time to be strong to come to face the very likely ultimate eventuality before it is too late". The message was intended to encourage those who had yet to physically come to see him breathing his last breath to do so as quickly as possible.
He breathed his last at 6.57pm on 28.02.2015 with practically all his family members having spent their final moment with him.
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| Photograph taken at the front of the Church Building of BCCM KK immediately after the Wedding Blessing Ceremony. |
In the early years of our marriage, I could tell that he was a well respected figure among the people of Sri Gading. Many locals irrespective of races and religions dropped by the house to seek his advice on land matter, dealings with local authorities etc. Literally everyone in the little town knew him.
Then, in the last few years, less and less people came to look for him. It was understandable because all his peers were gone and that new rules and regulation implemented by the authority were beyond his understanding. He became more and more a lonely man.
Whenever I visited Sri Gading, I made it a point to let him belanjar me or paid for my breakfast either at the favorite Roti Canai eatery or the Lontong eatery. Those were times when he told me many of his life stories and some of his deeds rendered to the community. He enjoyed telling those stories though some were repeats. My last and only travel for a short tour with him was done in late January 2013. We did a day tour all the way to the most southern tip of mainland Asia: Tangjung Piai (Read here and here).
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A road in Sri Gading named after him is testament of his contribution to this little town.
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| He stood next to the road sign named after him in Sri Gading. |
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Father and youngest daughter's final moment.
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History would record that Lim Kheng Siang lived 88 years. Then he breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years.I may add that his close family members were with him when he died and many who knew him, his friends and acquaintances came to bid him farewell.
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| His children. |
His grandchildren and great grandchildren. My two sons also came from Singapore to attend his funeral.
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