Chapter 16: My Uncle - A Controversial Man

My uncle, who was the only sibling my mother had was born in 1930. He was two years younger than my mother. In his native village, Kampong Pulutan, he was known by his nickname "Ah Tai" rather than by his Chinese name, Yee Tshan Fah.

15.11.1930 - 7.9.1992

He must have been a "good" boy when he was young judging from the positive comment we heard about him from Aunti Stelli Benggon when we visited her during early February this year. They grew up together in the same village.

He was of medium height, a bit plump with a fairly high forehead. His presence was always felt because he talked with a loud voice. As a child of mixed parentage, he was being referred to as the "eleven o'clock kid" (十一點), a common term used to describe this group of people in those days. His wife was also of mixed parentage. In the early years, he was a good husband, a good father and a good son. He worked hard as a carpenter to raise a rather large family: a mother, a wife and eight children. They all lived in a large bamboo house in Kampong Pulutan.

Marriage photo with the 1st wife.

The one thing I remember about him most was when he made three wooden tops for me and my older two brothers when we visited his family during one of the school holidays. I was probably 8 years old then. He took time off and made two slightly taller ones for my older brothers and a shorter one for me. He didn't make any for his own children at that time! Because of the special tools he had as carpenter, the tops were really well made. The envious looks of our neighbouring boys when they saw the tops made us real proud of the gifts from this uncle!

Typical top.

His good carpentry skill was sought after by more and more contractors and he had to work at places further and further away from home. I recall him telling us that at one time, he had to spend weeks away at Mt Kinabalu when he was involved in the building of the transmitting tower at Mt. Kinabalu. He was really fired up and proud of telling us the thrill and the excitement of travelling in a cable-suspended gondola daily from the foothill to the work site somewhere along the hill slope of Mt. Kinabalu.

This outstation work assignments proved to be a turning point of his life. Stories of his fondness for women began to circulate. He came home less and less frequently and he hardly gave money to his wife for the upkeep of his family. To steer him back to the right path, his wife and his mother had used both kind words and harsh scolding but sadly they fell on deaf ears. I recall that my mother had also been asked by my grandmother to talk to him and if necessary to reprimand him. She did as asked but that too failed to stop his adventure. Finally, his wife left him and his eight children were left under the care of my grandmother. The fact that almost all his children failed to get good education could be attributed to the lack of financial resources and parental care.

Besides the first wife, my uncle also had relationship with at least four other women who bored more children for him. One was a divorcee and three other unmarried ladies. Contrary to what people normally perceive, these women were not monstrous home wreckers. I got to know at least one of them who was his second wife: a divorcee with two girls by her first husband. She turned out to be a kind, gentle lady who was later on also well liked by my mother and other relatives when they got to know her better. My uncle also had a relationship with one of his workers, a Kadazan lady who later on gave birth to a girl who turned out to be the classmate of my daughter Serene in St. Francis Convent. Her name is Alice Yee. What an irony that my daughter was the classmate of her aunty! The sad thing was that he did not exercise his paternal role for the kids fathered by him with these other women. Many of these women and kids were left to fend for themselves.

In spite of his philandering character and his tendency to abdicate his paternal role, many who knew him still spoke fondly about him. They found him helpful and generous. My uncle, Hj. Mandamin told me that he picked up his carpentry skill when he was employed by my uncle as one of his workmen. He later on set up his own small time contracting practice. He was still grateful to my uncle for the skill he has learnt. Similarly, Uncle Wesley Pai also has kind words about him because he too had at one time worked as one of his workmen. He too learnt the carpentry skill which he later on used to build his current house where he now stays. Uncle Wesley also recalled that "Ah Tai" supported his education - thus enabling him to get a decent job as a clerk in the National Registration Office.

In a sense, he was special to me because he was my firs boss (Read here) whom I worked for during one of my school breaks when I was 15 years old.

My uncle worked as a contractor specialising in graveyard construction and tombstone restoration. He did this almost up to the end of his life. In his late fifties, he suffered from high blood pressure and was not of good health. In September 1992, he passed away at the age of 62. He is buried next to his parents in the Roman Catholic Church Cemetery at Mile 1.5, Jalan Tuaran.