Passing of a Statesman - Lee Kuan Yew

The news of the death of Lee Kuan Yew at 3.18am on 23 March 2014 which I received in the morning was initially treated with skepticism and was suspected as another hoax. I googled CNN and BBC and all reported the passing of LKY. Then, Sam whatsapped, "Hey Dad, LKY passed away for real". That message put all my doubt away. LKY, the Founding Father and first Prime Minister of Singapore has indeed left this world.

I did feel a sense of loss on knowing that LKY has finally gone. This was probably because of two reasons. One is that two of my children are now working in Singapore. One in fact is going to get married to a Singaporean. Second is because of historical sentiment - I grew up at one period of my life when Singapore was part of Malaysia.

Now that Peninsular Malaysia politics is increasingly moving toward racism, bigotry and Islamisation, East Malaysians (Sabah and Sarawak) are feeling more and more alienated from the original agreement in the formation of Malaysia. Some even go as far as to argue that a referendum of some sort should have been conducted by the remaining partners, Malaya, Sabah and Sarawak on the validity of this union when Singapore was "asked" to leave this federation.

Before 23 March 2015, LKY was the last founder of Malaysia still alive. Now that he is gone, any chance of getting evidence and verification on the founding agreement from someone in the know of this founding process is finally gone. The sense of loss is therefore understandable.

LKY is admired as a great and visionary leader of our time. His foresight and determination to single-handedly transform Singapore from a backwater kampong to an ultra modern city state is unparalleled and an indisputable fact. It did cross my mind many times to guesstimate the kind of Malaysia would be like if Singapore is still part of Malaysia. That exercise of course is futile but nevertheless is good for keeping the mind active.

LKY was quoted to have said at one time:

"I am no longer in active politics. It's irrelevant to me what young Singaporeans think of me. What they think of me after I am dead and gone in one generation will be determined by researchers who do PhDs on me.

I did what I thought was right, given the circumstances, given my knowledge at the time, given the pressures on me at the time. That's finished, done. I move forward. You keep on harking back, It's just wasting time.

I have no regrets. I have spent my life, so much of it, building up this country. There is nothing more that I need to do. At the end of the day, what have I got? A successful Singapore. What have I given up? My life."

He will be remembered as one among the rare species of Great Men of the past such as Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. His passing will be missed for a very long time.

A Time to Die: My Father-in-Law

Death is one word not many people are comfortable to talk about. One question often comes to mind is "What is the most appropriate time to die?".

It is natural that everyone wishes to die at the most appropriate time. The fact is that appropriateness in terms of timing is more for the living rather than for the dead. The impact of the recent airplanes disasters to the the closed family members and relatives who are left behind is truly horrific and painful. Such untimely deaths would be very difficult to be accepted as this occurred in such "inappropriate" time.

King Solomon said, "There is a time for everything, .....a time to be born and a time to die.....". I can think of at least three Bible characters whom I considered had very timely deaths.

Abraham lived 175 years. Then he breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years.

Isaac lived 180 years. Then he breathed his last and died, old and full of years.

Jacob's life was even more appropriately ended in that he could gather all his loved ones just before he died. It was recorded that when he had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people.

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On 26 February 2015, I accompanied my wife and flew to JB for the occasion of a reunion gathering of her classmates of the Class of 1970 of CHIJ Batu Pahat. The get-together was scheduled on 28 Feb 2015. 

It was also our plan to spend a day or two with her parents who are now in their eighties. A day before our departure, we received news that my father-in-law had a stroke and was sent to the Batu Pahat Hospital. He was unconscious and his body was half paralyzed as a result of the stroke.

We visited him in the hospital the moment we reached Batu Pahat. He could no longer talk but we sensed that he could still hear because of his squeezing of our hands when we held his hands. Scan of his brain confirmed haemorrhaging. There was "debates" among his children concerning what course of action to take - To carry out a brain operation with the hope of keeping him alive or to forgo the operation but to keep him in utmost comfort? Whether he survives or succumbs to the illness would be entirely in the hand of God.

When the children seemed to opt for the second option, at least one sounded disappointed when he whatsapped, "Any positive side we could look to? Dad is still not giving up. Should we give up then!".

In the midst of seeing the uncertainty among some of the children. I recalled my father-in-law's life as against the Bible characters who died at the ripe old age. I whatsapped at 3.25pm on 27.02.15: "For the hesitant, it's time to be strong to come to face the very likely ultimate eventuality before it is too late". The message was intended to encourage those who had yet to physically come to see him breathing his last breath to do so as quickly as possible.

He breathed his last at 6.57pm on 28.02.2015 with practically all his family members having spent their final moment with him.

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I came to know this man because of my marriage to his youngest daughter. He came to Sabah only once in 1979 to attend our wedding.

Photograph taken at the front of the Church Building of
BCCM KK immediately after the Wedding Blessing Ceremony.

He was a simple man, a man who spoke only when necessary. That was my impression of him. I recall writing to him in 1978 for permission to marry his daughter. He never replied. That did not matter because he did hand his daughter to me for marriage later on.

In the early years of our marriage, I could tell that he was a well respected figure among the people of Sri Gading. Many locals irrespective of races and religions dropped by the house to seek his advice on land matter, dealings with local authorities etc. Literally everyone in the little town knew him.

Then, in the last few years, less and less people came to look for him. It was understandable because all his peers were gone and that new rules and regulation implemented by the authority were beyond his understanding. He became more and more a lonely man.

Whenever I visited Sri Gading, I made it a point to let him belanjar me or paid for my breakfast either at the favorite Roti Canai eatery or the Lontong eatery. Those were times when he told me many of his life stories and some of his deeds rendered to the community. He enjoyed telling those stories though some were repeats. My last and only travel for a short tour with him was done in late January 2013. We did a day tour all the way to the most southern tip of mainland Asia: Tangjung Piai (Read here and here).

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A road in Sri Gading named after him is testament of his contribution to this little town.

He stood next to the road sign named after him in Sri Gading.

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Father and youngest daughter's final moment.

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History would record that Lim Kheng Siang lived 88 years. Then he breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years.

I may add that his close family members were with him when he died and many who knew him, his friends and acquaintances came to bid him farewell.

His children.

His grandchildren and great grandchildren. My two sons also came from Singapore to attend his funeral.

Ushering the Year of the Goat in 2015

These days, occasions when family members could get together for reunion seemed to come and pass at incredible speed. The recent Chinese New Year 2015 did allow us to have a small family reunion. This would be the very last time the boys came back as bachelors. By next year, they will come back as married men :)

It has been a very long time ago since this satay grill was brought out for use. Its usefulness has not diminished as evidenced by the delicious grilled lamb chops prepared by the boys for our simple family reunion dinner.

Eating Tangyuan has been one of our CNY traditions.

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Earlier on 30.02.2015, we joined the rest of the siblings and the rest of the family members to have a CNY Eve reunion dinner at my parents home in Taman Public. This was attended by Sam and Paul as well.

Family reunion dinner at my parents house in Taman Public.

Even though my parents had passed away for a number of years, the effort initiated by the siblings to have meals together during CNY is something to be treasured and hopefully continued for many years to come.